# Anabelle Jolyn
# 4th May
# Her Daddy's Princess
# dorty_blurry_jolyn@hotmail.com (friendster)
# ask me for my MSN


# The Most High
# Family
# Friends
# Being a missy girl.
# Those who're hunky-dory to me


# Feeling negative.
# Things that don't go the right way.
# Calls and texts not being respond.
# Being admonish.
# Backaches.


# Make wishes/dreams all come true for me.
# Be myself.
# More time for everything.
# All to be healthy and happy.
# Him*

@ 6:07 AM


AWAY.
CLEARING MIND.
BE BACK SOON.
@ 6:06 AM




@ 3:12 AM


just got back from mum's advanced birthday celebration at bukit batok. feeling kinda tired, glad mum had fun. (:

dad's back today, brought the family out to dinner along with bff, grandmother and peilin. dine at IMM's crystal jade. food's a bit low in standard compare to the previous time. and i still do prefer imperial.

and yea, i've got pictures from today, and some other days as well. too lazy to even blog, let alone say upload them. hahas. will do it soon la. have patience ok? (:

it's hard to find someone whom you can actually confide in and depend on if you ever need someone there; friend. let's not talk about boy-girl relationship, but just friendship alone. it's difficult to really see through and know who your true friends are.

call me a flirt, a bitch, a liar, whatever. go ahead and brand me. i don't actually care that much anymore; reason to it, i keep it to myself. else i'll get further comments.

i'm just pretty upset over what'd happened. disappointments, when things go wrong, every other things just snowball along. and i'm sorry for i've hurt may yesterday. it was friday, OUR day. yet i hung with some other people. i bet she could feel her heart dropped, but i just wanna tell her that i'm really sorry.

i know, from the bottom of my heart; i wanna care for her, to be there when she needed somebody, to have her dependent on me. and i've ruined it, just by making a wrong choice. leading to wrong impressions and assumptions, next things getting out of hand.

this is the thing with me, i trust people too easily and my heart's soft. there're pros and cons about it. it seems like it's heading more towards the cons.

not long ago, i told lies. but come to think of living with lies in life, it's just tough. and i've done what i could to come clean with it already. i admit to the lies i told, the reason being and whatever's asked. it's just too tiring. and you live with a kind of fear. it's so over with me.

i need my deprived rest. i'm gonna start on my healthy lifestyle, drinking and smoking; out of my life. and yes, clear my mind of thoughts, start re-ORGANISING MY LIFE.
@ 2:32 AM




@ 2:55 AM


twinkle twinkle little star,
how i wonder what you are.
up above the world so high,
like a diamond in the sky.
twinkle twinkle little star,
how i wonder what you are.
@ 2:53 AM



@ 5:40 PM


my heart wince everytime i think of you. those mistakes. my heart just drop by inches each time. i feel sick, disgusted by myself. the doors are closed, tightly shut.

i wanna do shoots again. but the state that i'm in, it's horrible. getting way too fat, and my left hand is useless. screw it all man.

oh, did i mention, my brother and his gf got me a furry red g string for my birthday? lols. they passed it to me some days ago only. how cheeky is that couple. tsktsk.

hopefully everything goes well between the both of them, crazy couple. lols.

pain's starting again. how awful. pain killers doesn't help anymore. i'm so tired. Daddy God, heal me please. I LOVE YOU. i'll be a good girl, i'm sorry. ):

the world is coming to an end! all the disasters, global warming etc. how long do we have to live? what is the last thing you wanna do before you pass on? thought of that?

hope everyone knows where they're going in life and have a way to it. (:
@ 5:22 PM




@ 12:11 AM


i'm sorry to ruin things with my own bare hands. just as things were going to fall into place, i destroyed it. i'm terrible sorry, i apologise for everything that i've done. i've hurt alot of people.

had a short talk with some friends, it felt really good. even though we're not very close, the concern is still there, i appreicate it. thank you(:

i'm logging off for now already, have a good night people. will blog about the dinner tonight soon; with pictures. :D

till then~
@ 12:05 AM


BEFORE!



@ 4:15 PM


WHAT DO YOU SAY A NEW HAIRCUT?!?! :D

woots! i look like some underage girl now!! i've got bangs! bang BANG BANGS!!! i've clipped my hair short too, been thinking of getting a new image for quite a while already. and TADAH! i did it!! i even made BFF do the same!! :P

daddy drove us to boon keng after dropping granny home on last friday; gonggong's 100th day prayers. time passes so fast, gonggong's gone for so long already. it's nice to hear about him when the family gets together, the dreams they had about him and all; reliving the times when he's still around.

okok. so on the way to granny's place, i was presuading BFF to get bangs as she wanted to cut her hair as well. she agreed! after droping granny off, i was presuading daddy to get his hair cut too, so he can go pay for us! LOLS. and daddy really went with us! =/

i know i'm evil! i'm such a lousy person! hahas.

and so, yesterday was daddy's birthday according to the lunar calendar. the whole family went out to eat. 16 of us, food's nice, but the waiting was horrible. amounted to $700. parted ways with the rest as brother and cousin wanted to go walk around while i waited for mikey in town.

he's back! HE'S BACK!! (: but for 5 days only. ): better than nothing la hor. so after meeting mikey, headed to eugene's place for outing. i was a little bored until BFF came to join us, play the ps3, guitar game. it's fun!! wheee~

but my hand is really terrible. it just wouldn't really coordinate, and was giving me a bit of problems yesterday. prolly go to a doctor to get it check soon, fix the nerves and whats not. sighs.

dinner with amy, eugene, matthew, mark, mike, BFF and cozy at heartland mall before cabbing down to zouk. was there for a short short while like half an hour? and then i left. wasn't in the mood to do anything and was a little tired. =/

got home, brother's playing mahjong with his friends. and i felt alive after my shower. (: slept at close to 6am in the morning. heees.


@ 3:39 PM




@ 4:23 AM


i wonder if my blog is still being bookmarked by you, and do you still read it. but i'm going to blog anyway.

many a times, when i'm smoking alone in my office, my thoughts would wander to you. i would sit there and ponder, but i just couldn't pinpoint. you would appear when i close my eyes, sometimes i wanna pull you close but i know, it's all over.

thanks for the happy times that you've brought, i knew i was happy, but i just didn't know how to show. i was too scared that i'll be hurt again, call me a selfish bitch. and in the end, you got hurt, i'm sorry.

thanks for walking through the depressing stage with me, you're always there and i really appreciate it. i'd always been a burden to you. now that, i'll learn to take care of myself and be a much better person.

thanks for all the care, concern, love and everything that you've showered me once with. it'll stay intact with me, and i wish you all the best in your everything. i give my blessings to your new relationship.

may she be the one for you, may everything goes smooth. most of all, to love you like how you love her. i may not have your love anymore, but i wish that you'll be happy from now and on. i've accept that things wouldn't go well for us anymore.

it'll still take sometime to get over the rest, but i'll be fine. i'll stand up strong again. please do take care of yourself, know that there're people who'll be worried for you. to love is to let go, i've learnt it. (:
@ 3:59 AM




@ 7:15 PM


call me a party girl, i am one. (:

long work hours approaching, gotta help out at the road show. it's gonggong's 100th day this saturday, everyone's coming over to my place. granny and maid's here already today, need to get some things done before saturday. i hope granny's feeling better.

went to watch harold and kumar 2 again yesterday. funny shit. offensive yet able to knock you off your seat. the company is nice, so i dont mind a second take.

i miss my twinkle twinkle. ):
@ 6:50 PM




@ 6:17 PM


Hi blog, hi everyone. i've been not updating for sometime, was lazy, plain lazy. uh uh. not busy not doing anything. no excuses.

but those who didn't know that i'm seldom online now is partly due to my work, and so after work, i may prolly hang with some peeps and come home late. by the time i get home, i just wanna have enough rest to wake up for work the next day.

from the day i'd start work, i've been coming home at weird hours in the morning. maybe that i just needed company and all to keep my mind sane for the moment. but it might not be. insomnia is back. i could only tire myself out, in that way, i could rest.

now, let's talk about work. office's at sheton way. i'm like a security guard, holding the post of an admin. i'm the only one in the office, i can do anything i want; eat, sleep, play games, whatever. only when there're people who walk in, that i have to handle. other than that, there's nothing much to do.

and yes, i do my own things everyday in office. wait for my manager; who's always late, to come open the door for me and leave after that. when i step into the office, first thing i do is plug in my portable radio and class 95 is love! :D

next i'll bring out my baby pillow, psp, water bottle and snacks to leave it on the table. now you see why i always carry a big bag. there're so much things to bring around. those mentioned above ain't all, there's still chargers, books, notepad, stationaries etc. alot to be list out. hahas.

i would want to hereby apologise to everyone for who i am recently. i know it's pretty fucked up, and i'd pissed quite a handful of people already. thanks for telling me that this horrible person is not me, thanks for staying close by. much appreciate. :)

i was thinking to myself, how screwed up i am now. but after dipping my head into the ice cold bucket of water, i'd start to clear my mind. it all isn't as complex as i thought it was, just because i was so tied up with the problems, i didn't think of the solutions. how dumb. haha!

relationship's to an end for now. things didn't work out, we'd tried. was too strong headed to be holding on and not letting go, have been a pest i suppose. though i've got over the fact that we're not together anymore, but the rest are still fresh in my mind.

sometimes i still do think back, why this end? but when things happen, they just happen. this is life. (:

been getting a tad too much attention these days, and i'm kinda digusted. like seriously. i reckon i dont need this kind of attention right now. i may have sent out wrong signals, false hopes and other means to make you'all think that i'm leading you on. not ready for anything. and i'm sorry that complications have arised because of me. let's all just be friends now, thank you.

i'm like becoming a party animal all over again!! wooohooos~ club on wednesdays, double o with BFF and others on fridays, sometimes club on saturdays too and for sundays, it's been pubbing. but tonight might be diferent, st james? lol.

BFF, debbie and bryan's going to sentosa tomorrow; TANNING!! and i can't go!! i've got work!! how sad is that la!! i love the sun!! i wanna tan, but constrains. ): slowly la! catching ironman tomorrow too! heard that it's an awesome show, can't wait!! lalas~

oh ya! i wanna watch 'the other boleyn girl'!! saw the trailer, seems interesting. anyone interested?!

AHHH. stupid me. i shouldn't be asking here, 'cause my blog is like so dead now. no tags no nothing. i know there're still a few faithful readers, but it's a bit cold in here yea? =/

alrights, gonna head out to get some prayers things for gonggong. 100 days coming, i still wonder why did he leave us so fast. i miss him alot alot, and i dont see him while some dreamt of him. is he doing well? is he close to us? where is he?

poor granny's down with depression. been missing gonggong too much. it just tears me open more to see all these happen at this time. what a problematic season. let's just hold out a bit longer and all will be fine! :D

last but not least,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS IN THE WORLD! :D
@ 3:37 PM



@ 3:13 AM


spent my actual day of my birthday packing my room as granny's heading over on tuesday, she's got depression. poor old lady, must be miss gonggong too much already. shall spend ore time with her and hope she get well soon. (:

had a filling lunch before heading out with my mum and youngest brother to meet my relatives at bukit batok for karaoke session. been some time since i see them, catch up a little. sing sang sung~

got home around 11pm. didn't do anything much, but it's still enjoyable. work tomorrow!! do nothing!! lols.

turning in soon! good nights everyone, hope you'd enjoy your day. :D

ps; i kept looking through it, a mixture of feelings aroused. what went wrong? i miss... still there?
@ 3:06 AM




@ 11:54 AM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! :D

another year older, a year passed filled with happenings. gave and take in many ways, looked at life in different perspectives.

celebrated my birthday a day earlier, supposed to have a house party, but due to some reasons. it's called off. i miss gonggong. ):

met BFF may at jurong point with her sister before heading for afternoon tea at orchard hotel,with BFF, brother lionel and his girlfriend;peilin, bryan, belgrand and meimei. awesome la. didn't ate alot, but it's the company that counts. lotsa laughters, me love~

after tea, meimei and belgrand went for pool practice while may, bryan and me head to marina square for massage, brother and girlfriend went home. met flurry sweetheart 'cause she passed me somethings.

waited for colin at the taxi stand as he wanted to send me his gifts. cabbed down to boat quay; liquid for drinks and waited for the rest to come; celebrate me birthday! :D

torres,wahliew,eddie,evilxue,barry,ricky,cynthia,debbie,alan,sharon came to drink and spend the happy moments with me. feels good! :D saw cousin marcus there as well, kept trying to chase me out. lols. brother came down with some of his friends for drinks too.

i'm a happy girl!! tons of people sent me their regards, glad they remember my big day! hees. i've got presents too. how sweet~ :D

bff left early to go home and rest, but she's so lovely la. called me at midnight to wish me happy birthday. surprised me with bryan and alan as well. got me a sunflower each. I LOVE SUNFLOWERS!!! whheeee~ *melts*

headed off at around 2am with barry,debbie,cynthia,ricky and weiliang;i drank quite alot. to double o meet panda korkor and butterfactory to look see look see. porridge at chinatown before heading home.

barry's such a sweetie, helped me with my stuffs and sent me right to my doorstep. i like guys who dress smartly and is gentlemanly. (:

pictures up in the post below! prezzies~
@ 11:47 AM


-surprise sunflowers BFF, bryan and alan. :D

@ 11:46 AM





i had a great birthday celebration. i do feel pampered. thanks everyone. :D
@ 11:42 AM




@ 11:02 PM


YAY!!!! I'M A HAPPY GIRL!!! :D I'VE GOT A NEW PHONE!!! SONG ERICSSON W890i. *WEETS*

AND I'M GOING OUT TO DOUBLE O TONIGHT!! WITH MY BFF!! AND SOME OTHERS, DUNNO WHO YET. HAHAS.

I'M CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!! CAN'T WAIT!! WOOOTIES!! I HEARD SURPRISES!!! MAKES MY HEART PUMP FAST YO!!! :)

MUMMY GAVE ME A BOUQUET OF ROSES AND DADDY BROUGHT ME OUT TO EAT. THOUGH IT'S A RUSHED THROUGH DINNER, I STILL APPRECIATE HIM TAKING TIME OUT FOR ME FROM HIS HECTIC WORK SCHEDUELE.

I SEE ZIPPO LIGHTER, SUNFLOWER AND MAYBE BACK TO OLD SCHOOL CD APPROACHING ME~

I'M ON ECSTACY!!! BYE~
@ 10:54 PM




@ 9:44 PM


3 days to my birthday; 4th may. (:

been some time, so i'm here to update now. i'm currently holding a temporary job at shenton way. working hours are short; 11am-4.30pm. five days work week, and nothing to do in office. pay's low, but it's ok 'cause i'm getting back on track.

plans to celebrate my birthday is still wavering. afterall, there's no buffet at my place anymore. gonggong passed away not over 100 days, so i gotta celebrate out with no cake. but who cares, it's the company that counts yea?! 3rd may, celebrate my birthday!!! (:

i actually found out some of the presents that my friends got for me. they're just so sweet la!!! hees. they kept dropping hints on me, and tadah!! i'm a smart girl!! lols.

i've gotta thank some people, who's been there for me through this period. i may be grouchy and nasty, but they still stayed with me. i'm grateful for the efforts, i can see it. (:

i'm kinda upset that things didn't work out well. but sometimes, it's just about letting go. it's not gonna be easy as ABC, but slowly. i hope for the best for both, all'll be fine. and no, i'm not falling back to square one. (:

i'm thankful that i'm being brought out into the light, though i'm all alone now. i appreciate everything that's been done; memories. let's just keep them within, and reminisce. i'm sorry that i'd been such a bitch, please forgive me.

lastly, BFF is LOVE!! i enjoy hanging with her all the time!! :D
@ 9:27 PM