[ _______________- The sights that I'm seeing are priceless -______________

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

_________________________

this is a sad romance song,
really nice even though it's quite long ago.
it just would fade out with the years,
and i believe there would always be people listening to it.

till now,
listening to this song for the upmteenth times,
i'm still touched by it.

this song meant something close.
i hope the star couple in the song would be you and me,
and this song would our story.

you know my dad didn't like you,
up till now.
i still want to be with you,
and we said we'll work things out.

but what if we couldn't?
are we gonna run away together and live in the first town we see forever;
living happily and put the world behind us?
and would you love me till our last breath?

i guess i'm being affected too much by the song,
i've been feeling uncertain about us now already,
how are we gonna last that long?

once in a while,
you would make me feel as if we're totally alright,
but on the other hand;
at the next moment,
i'm insecure.

maybe it's you,
who made me feel that way,
and blamed me for it.
i just couldn't help it,
simply look at yourself;
you'll know why.

no matter how much i trust and love you,
i always feel that i'm far from you.
you seems to be hiding things from me,
and have lots of other girls outside.

furthermore,
our relationship's in the dark.
i'm feeling sick and tired,
but i still hang on,
in hope we'll get better and brave it all together.

What about you?

@ 3:36 PM

If you get there before I do-Collin Raye

i read a note my grandma wrote
back in 1923
grandpa kept it in his coat
and he showed it once to me

he said boy you might not understand
but a long long time ago
grandmas daddy didn't like me none
but i loved your grandma so

we had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
get married in the first town we came to and live forever
but nailed to the tree where we were suppose to meet instead
i found this letter and this is what it said:

if you get there before i do
don't give up on me
i'll meet you when my chores are through
i don't know how long i'll be
but i'm not gonna let you down
darling wait and see
and between now and then
until i see you again
i'll be lovin' you
love, me

i read those words just hours before my grandma passed away
in the doorway of the church where me and gandpa stopped to pray
i know i've never seen him cryin all my fifteen years
but as he said these words to her
his eyes filled up with tears

if you get there before i do
don't give up on me
i'll meet you when my chores are through
i don't know how long i'll be
but i'm not gonna let you down
darling wait and see
and between now and then
until i see you again
i'll be lovin' you
love, me

and between now and then
until i see you againi'll be lovin' you
love, me

Will you?

@ 1:12 PM

Oh how great!
my left eye felt swollen when i woke up this morning!
but it's no longer as pain as yesterday,
i'm still wondering how did i injured myself there.

mommy let me slept in a little late today,
she know that i went to bed around 2plus last night.
thus she woke me up at 11.30am;
when she needed help with the chores.

one more day!
daddy's coming home!
lalas~
i miss him!

now,
i couldn't totally bare my souls here anymore.
there are so much uncertains things going on,
it's not the same anymore.

i'm no longer the me,
i thought i was.
i've become a stranger to myself.

Where are we going from here?

@ 12:58 PM

OMIGOODNESS!!!!
i got a cut at the corner of my left eye!!
how bad can this be?!?!?!
it hurts bloody LOADS!!

i didn't do anything to my eye,
except applying eyeliner last afternoon!!
even blinking hurts now!!!
what am i to do?!?!
i'm feeling shitty over it.

ARGHS!!~~

Pat came over this afternoon,
we slacked and prepared to head out.
marina square was where we went,
had dinner at swensens.

walked around a bit in the mall,
and head over to outram to meet somebody.
came back to jurong and we slacked once again.

planning to go shopping tomorrow,
but it's not confirm yet.
hope it's still on,
but mostly could only window shop;
'cause i'm left with 10 cents.

daddy's coming back on thursday;
as what he'd said.
and he can't transfer funds to me,
nobody's available to do it for him.
just too bad,
gotta wait.

and oh shucks!
results are coming out soon,
i hope i passed;
pray for me!!!

the pains in the back's killing me!!
i'm going off to bed soon!
nights people!!

I don't feel good at all.

@ 1:20 AM

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

ahhhh!!!!!!
it's here,
i'm dying!

i'm waiting for Pat to head over to my place now,
have porridge with me.
i'm got no appetite,
and my back's killing me.

i slept really early last night,
like say 10pm?
connie called at 12 plus and sounded kinda shocked that i was asleep ya?
LOLS.

woke up at 10am this morning,
and being the always nice girl;
i did the chores and all!
(:

95 more days to my 8teen!
yum yums~

I'm not gonna let it bother me anymore.

@ 1:18 PM

Monday, January 29, 2007

no wonder i'm feeling so tired and listless today.
the backaches are here to torment me again,
it's the time of the period again.

i guess i'm going to lay in bed and suffer,
nobody's going to care.
)):

i need and want comforting,
back rubs and companies,
to be treated really like a missy^^!

i'm day-dreaming,
i know.

It's not even a day.

@ 9:49 PM

i'm sure everybody's sick and tired of my bedroom image and out-dated chinese song ya?

so here's a change!
how's the outcome?
i spent quite some time on it,
and i'm satisfied!

goes well with fonts and colors yea?
just a little too bright sometimes.
=p

woolalas~

today's a fruitful day!
i did chores and everthing i'm supposed to do,
offered help around too.
thus some unhappiness encountered were blend out.

it's cold these few days,
so i would urge all to put on more clothes to keep warm,
and bring your brolly out in case it rains.
(:

i'm going to watch drama for now.
blog again!
adios~

What can you give me?

@ 6:57 PM

i'm blonde with strikes now.

All I ask of you...

@ 2:49 PM

ahhh.
my little brother is so sweet today la.
he gave me 2 disney princesses' sticker,
and he said that he actually begged his classmate for an hour to get it for me.
how nice right?!

so alrights,
i'll pamper him;
for a day then.
i'm nice too right?!
(:

cozzin Pat went to work at 10am.
having her sleeping over is great!
we talked till we sleep and had a walk in the middle of the breeze-y night.
all's awesome!

i'm stuck at home today,
mom's daily naggings' on air since morning.
i'm feeling oh-so-tired,
and when daddy coming home?
i'm broke.
=x

i hope whatever i've said to you remains in your mind,
and you would really do what you said.
pick up my calls,
get in contact with me more often,
don't neglect me,
and etc.

you don't know how i feel,
disappointed and upset.
to the extend,
i feeling like giving up.

can you do something about it,really?
if not,
all's just ain't worth aything;
a total waste.

Restore it all.

@ 2:18 PM

hearts to hearts girlies talk;
i like!!

Pat's staying over tonight!
it's 3am already.

i think today's been a fruitfull day!
we did things and spent it wisely.
((:

MORE MORE!!!

Can you clear my doubts?

@ 2:56 AM

Friday, January 26, 2007

more changes in me!!
((:
hopes it's all nice and good.
lalalas~

reunion dinner this year will be brought forward to the 10th Feb;
at my granny's place.
poor granny,
she's must be duper tired every year preparing a feast for all of us.

ahhh.
electricity was being interrupted today,
from 10am till 6pm.
luckily i wasn't home,
thus it's doesn't matter to me.

but it did bothered me a little in the noon,
'cause my handphone battery's going low,
and i've got to charge it.

thank God,
i've got an extra mobile that's charged.
and tadah!
i've got a phone for the day!

mommy's going out for dinner with her friends;
bringing my youngest brother along,
the other brother's not home yet,
hence i think i'm supposed to find my own programmes.

most prolly,
stay home and watch tv,
rot rot rot~

till here,
update again~

I'm better off alone.

@ 8:09 PM

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

YAY-NESS!
going to meet up with my cuzzie;
Pat later!

so happy la.
been so so long since we last spent time together.
her mum's over at my place now,
for the foot massage with my other aunts.

this is a very good chance!
we're gonna bond again!
lalalas~

my mood today is pretty nice,
hope nothing goes wrong to ruin it!
(:

hope things get better.

@ 6:43 PM

con said i've been writing emo-ly lately.
what to do,
i'm so bored and upset.

but it's all in the thinking la.
whatever you think,
your heart feels,
and it's acted out upon.

i've been missing quite some people these days.
hmmms.
wassup?!?

i miss my cousin;Pat!
shitty boyfriend of hers don't let her contact me.
must be scared i snatch her away,
but it's all like OMTIAN la.
i'm her cousin lehs,
use your brains.
we're going to stay in contact anyhow.
lalalas~

i miss Leggies!
i don't know if he's been reading my blog,
but i hope to see him tag on day.
(:
i miss msn-ing with him too,
but always wrong timing thus ended up not chatting much.
shall meet up soon alrights?

i miss May!
she must be damn busy lo,
school start le piled with lotsa work and all.
poor girl,
i miss going out and our girls' talk!
make time for me,please!

i miss my dinosaur;Alrex.
thanks for being there so long for me,
really appreciate it alot.
i'm sorry that i've been bad to you,
and you had never once mind.
i'm happy that you're attached now,
all the best aye?!
she's your queen!
(:

i miss my clique!
all's gone with the wind.
stay in touch la,
and find time out to hang out!
duhs.

that's all for now peeps,
got to go;
not feeling that well.

take cares and seeya soon!

i'm beginning to let go.

@ 2:38 AM

con and me;acted cutes. hahas.

i can't help laughing at her 'xu chun mei' post. so hilarious!

and lastly!
i'd permed my hair;
sad to say like all the girls on the streets.
)):

curls not that satisfying though,
thinking whether to re-perm nots.
(:

do i look better than before?
:P

i could feel no more.

@ 2:30 AM

blogger's giving me some ass-y problems.
cookies not enabled and all?
why now and not before?
gosh...

well,
connie forcefully made me agreed to blog an special entry about her on sunday.
i couldn't get on net as my lappie wasn't with me for the past few days,
and i hooked on the online services through my handphone.
hahas.

but anyway,
as requested.
i shall blog.

am i good or am i best?
wahahahas.
where to find such nice sister around?

ah.
i thank God,
for that he had sent connie into my life,
whilst i slipped into the hell-ship in secondary one.

she was sooooo nerdish looking back then;
i just browse through my albums last week while spring cleaning.
the prints we took,
held much memories.

no one could ever replace the bondage we shared,
i believe.

now,
she's like an ugly duckling turned into a beautiful swan;
i know she must be flying on cloud nine reading this.
get back down to earth,girl!

i'm thankful for the moments you stood by me,
and offering supports.
as years goes by,
we don't share that much anymore.

but we still continued to update and fit each other in our lifes,
making time and plans to please one another.
i say,
this friendship,sisterhood or whatever it is;
will never die.

and i'm sorry,
for the times we fall out.
and made up again!
(:

OH!
you've gotta pay to copy me!
copyrights reserved!
BOOS!

and,and you know what?
i found some letters from when we're still in the secondary school life,
i'm keeping them with me,
and framing them up in my album!

lastly,
i love you la connie.
take good care of yourself,
i'm just a call away.

and i'll find ways to your blog;
still not working.

good nights.

God.

@ 1:37 AM

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

ahh. i'm blogging at the comfort of my cell phone. couldn't get to sleep,and my laptop's not with me. so decided to try getting online via my mobile. hees. not bad ehs. :) finished a novel in an hour just now,been ages since i last read a novel and being able to finish it. all full of myself. Hahas. feeling tired already. gotta wake up and do the chores early later. good night for now. be blessed. :)

@ 2:55 AM

Friday, January 19, 2007

i'm truly sorry for the lacks of updates people!
i'm blogging now to make it up to all of you;
faithful readers!
i know who you are.
(;

well,
i've been staying home and getting busy spring cleaning.
clearing the messes at home,
cleaning the fans,
wiping the windows etc etc.
just too much to do and too little time.

chinese new year's a month and a day less away.
i've not done any shopping for new clothes though,
sometimes i feel really tired,
and not feel like doing anything.

did a little shopping of furnitures with my family,
got a few pieces from IKEA today;
delivering them to my place on tuesday!

not for me though,
for my brothers.
i'm still happy la;
'cause we bought things.

and ya,
for the one who doubted me.
i know you'll come across.

i've already stated it clear that i'm busy with spring cleans and gotta stay home,
do NOT assume that i went out with other people,
as i don't even have time to meet up with connie;
that one i'm dying to meet.

i'm afraid you don't know me;
maybe you do,
but not well,not enough.

i kept to my promises and did not mingle around with many others guys when i'm attached;
furthermore,
i'm NOT.

what's the fuss about?
you're scaring me all of a sudden;
you've changed,
stop it.

i'm sorry;
not because i think i've done wrong,
but rather i'm flaming up here.
i just can't take it down.

that's all for now.
on a lighter note,
there's changes in ME!
hees~

Nothing makes me feel better.

@ 10:17 PM

Monday, January 15, 2007

this is the only place that i could turn to,
in anytime of needs.
no matter how i'm feeling and all,
this place;
is the only place no one will make me feel even lower that i do.

i just don't understand humans;
that includes myself.
it's way complicated;
i want it all to end!

_______,canyounottreatmeinthisway?
makemefeelasifi'mdesiredandthenextmomentunwanted,iwantnoguessinggames.
youthinkthatonlyyou'relivinginthisrueiamtoo,forheaven'ssake.
you'retheselfishone,i'mlikeatyourbeckandcallwheneveryouneedme.
what'sallthisaboutishouldhavejuststepoutofalltheseatthosetimes,butdumbmedidn't;keptholdingon.
justwhat'stheuse,iseenopoint.
sometimesidon'tevenknowwhatyousaidistrueornot,soallicoulddoisnottakeittoheart.
whateveryou'vesaid;you'dsaid,soi'lljustlistenandforgetit.
'causethewordscarriednoweigh,andi'msickofit.
i'mnotgonnastickaroundandwait,somedayi'llfly;justdon'tyouregret.

stop the nonsenses.

@ 9:47 PM

things could be better,
could be worse.
till now,
it's not going really smooth though.
i sure hope it heads to the brighter side.

i know that there'll be no happy endings,
but i just wish we could play our parts,
and that'll be just enough.

i'm not a truely nice and good girl;
no denial in this,
i admit.

i'm getting the headaches,
splitting crazy ones.
sometimes i wish i'll die,
thus everything would end for me.

to the one who bore me in her for nine months;my dear mommy,
i know it's useless putting my words here and not say it to you,'cause you probably don't understand anything and don't come here to read. i'm very tired,really.i've been putting up with everything you give,i'm not sure when i'll fall.i hope i wouldn't,if not i don't know where would you be at. would you spare me from all these agony you've caused,it's all building up in me. i don't wanna lash out,please. you know i love you,and i think you feel the same for me too. so would you be nicer and not vent your angers on me all the time? it's really bad,it pains so much that i wish i were never here;you never understand. i'm fighting everyday,for you,for everyone;till sometimes i lost my own visions and way. please get better in your health and take very good care of yourself,i'm sorry for all the unhappiness i've caused.

to the world's greatest man;my utmost daddy,
you probably wouldn't come across here too,even if you've got the link in your laptop. thank you for all you've done and give;appreciate it endlessly. but i'm quite disappointing ain't i? you never gave up on me,not even once,when your tears were already rolling down your cheeks.you'd worked so hard,sacrificed your time and being let down all the while. i know that you only wanted the best for me and not ask for anything in return. i'll grow to prosper,i'll work hard. i wanna know more about you and please don't hide from me. none would ever take your noble place in my heart.

to the girl who'll always be my sister and have the rights to copy after me;connie,
i may not always be around for you but you know that,i'm always just a call away. i'll push whatever there is away to rush to you when you need me.

Shoulder to cry on--Tommy Page
Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with youby your side,
And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll alway be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!
And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....

that's all for this post.
it's already a damn long post,
there'll be other entries like this.

I don't know which is the truth you're telling.

@ 2:56 PM

Saturday, January 13, 2007

randoms.
i feel that we're all living in our world,
with others looking in.

like we're actors of life,
there's viewers watching our show.
do you feel this way too?

sometimes i feel like everything in life pre-destined,
what we're going to do or doing or done;
are all scripted out.

by who,
i'm not sure.
but to me,it's God.
(:

i'm not trying to bring out my complaints,
but i'm not leading a very happy life.
yes,i've got a complete family and all,
who knows what goes on beneath all the surfaces?

i've got a mom,
who always picks on me.
isn't she tired sometimes from doing all that?
i'm tired though.

pain in the ass,
that's what i feel sometimes.
really terrible,
she just don't understand anything.

you can call me a spoilt brat or whatsoever,
i don't give a damn.
i wouldn't deny the fact that i've got a dad who loves me way more than anything,
who's willing to give up anything for me,
who wants the best for me;
just to make me happy and not get hurt in whichever way.

i'm his princess,
but i'm a rebellious one.
i don't heed his words all the time,
make him upset and all.
all these did not make him love me lesser though,
i'm thankful to God for my papi.

let me have a break,please.

@ 6:17 PM

sorry for the lack of updates.
was really busy,
well,
not really that busy.

rather to say,
i can't get online.
i'm being watched.
LOLS.

i'm now blogging on my daddy's laptop,
he's home!
i hearts family day!!!

hmms.
we'd lunch,
now to granny's place.
going to shop a bit later.

hahas.
nice nice.
i hope today would be a great day;
for everyone and me!

i don't wanna the world to see me.

@ 2:44 PM

Monday, January 08, 2007

been having all kinds of mix feelings lately.
had a bbq on saturday at howard's place,
was rather fun but yet didn't really feel good.

a new best friend found!
she's none other than my lovely cousin;
Patrichio Yeo!

we've shared some things lately,
and the bondage between us is coming strong.
i love hanging out with her!

we both turned our deaf ears to the rumours spreading,
and trusted each other totally,
therefore we'll stand up for each other all the time.

we couldn't really hang out together due to some restrictions,
even that wouldn't bring us down.
we'll always look out and find time for each other.

we've been spending quite sometime together;
staying at home doing things,
sleeping over.
but nothing beats the negative me thinking of her/s*.

objections had been rised;
not once,not twice,
but for more than a few times.

i tried not to be bothered too much with it,
and covered up for you as much as i can.
but the cat would be let out of the bag sooner or later.

this time,
this objection risen really sets me back.
i didn't wanna oppose it;
it's all disappointments.

i'm scared,really.
who'll stand by me?

casting spells surfaced in my mind.

@ 2:23 PM

Sunday, January 07, 2007

better days;
let love in.

wake me up when september ends;
where are you.

you and me,
collide;
breaking free.

random.

@ 10:43 PM

Friday, January 05, 2007

so after all,
i didn't get to meet my cousin and her bf.
they wanted sometime to date alone,
and it's raining very heavily at my area.

thus i stayed at home till about 7pm,
prepared dinner,watched tv and had dinner,
after that head off to bukit batok to return the vcds.

i feel so dumb la.
LOLS.
i walked to the station and took a bus;
hoping it'll take me to my destination,
which it never did.

i ride in it all the way to bukit panjang,
got off and flagged a cab.
and again,
i got lost.

i wasn't sure of the address there,
luckily the female driver's sucha nice lady,
drove me around to look for it.

finally i arrived at the place where i wanted to go,
she charged the fare at only $5 instead of the $8 shown on the meter.
isn't she sweet?
aww~

went to return the vcds,
overdue-d by a day.
head off in a cab to jurong point,
'cause there's only one bus around there,
and i had no idea where it's heading;
lest i get lost again.
hahas~

walked around for a while in the mall,
grabbed some munchies and took a bus home.
watched tv and did some chores.

waiting for my cousin to call me now,
gonna continue with our bitching.
was on the phone with her just now too;
accompany her wait for her bf as he's taking his bike licsence.

Some me love.

@ 12:47 AM

Thursday, January 04, 2007

i'm bored stiff,
so boring.
looking at the pass of each day with nothing to do,
simply just wasting it away.

now school's re-open.
at least i would be able to sleep a little better in the morning,
without the disturbance of my youngest brother.

ahh.
that's all for now.

i'm going to help out my mum who's making dinner for the family,
bathe,return the borrowed vcds at bukit batok,
and meet my cousin and her bf in town.

soon,
gonna spring clean.
wooohoooo~

Foolish.

@ 5:04 PM

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

i'm not a happy girl.
i'm afraid;
i doubt i'll ever be happy again.

who could be my sunshine?
i'm sinking into a depressed mode,
oh hell no.

i've not drawn up my new year resoultions,
oh shit.
i think i'm going to die;
into the EMOs again.

*cries*

Lost in a faraway land.

@ 10:56 PM

I don't know if the recipient of this entry would read this,
but i'm here to blog anyhow.
I've tried calling and messaging but to no avail.

I'M SORRY MAY!!

hope you'll forgive me.
=/

@ 1:07 AM