Thursday, June 28, 2007
i was tearing away when i got that text message and when i saw her post.even though i wasn't all that close to her,i could feel what she was going through.been there done that.i'm really sorry that i didn't make it to the funeral,there're things happening in my family as well.i hope you're feeling better now girl,and if you ever needed any help or anything,i'm just a call away.life haven't got any tad bit better for me till now,but at least my beloved cousin is back in singapore already.it's so nice to have her around again,i simply love her so much to bits.and well,this is the first week that she's back.we went to gotham penthouse last night,with the regulars.she woke up today with no idea what happened last night,she was very very very drunk!i don't think i wanna share about it here,in any case she kill me later.wait till she blog about it,then i blog also.lalas~keith is so nice la,i called him as no cabbies wanna take us.he came down to pick us up to go home,and even bring me to eat!woots!i'm a happy girl!i'mma put an end to this entry abruptly,cause i'm not sure where i'm heading.grrr.byebye!You're not really a factor anymore.
@
3:30 PM
Monday, June 25, 2007
somethings just come too slow and too late,when the yearns are being getting over with,nothing that comes their way would get them back to where it all started.unless,chances are given,and one's willing to try.i'm pretty screwed up recently.with my cousin on holiday in taiwan,leaving me here to fend for myself.and got into quarrel with my mum,wasn't on talking terms at all.now that we do talk,we're always feeling unhappy about each other.but i'm happy,.'cause i'm no longer sharing a room with my youngest brother.i've got my own room back,and i can really spend ages inside.only bad thang is,it's by the corridor.been out in the night from wednesday till saturday,it's ruining me somehow.more excuses to being picked on,and life's getting pretty screwed.hit the beach today,and something freaky happened.there's a guy holding a camera and hiding in the waters,taking pictures of girls;undressing to suntan,stooping down,playing around and all.he took pictures of me and my friends,luckily there's this group of boys from ngee ann poly;if i remember correctly,hurried to tell us about it.one of my friend went to confront him,and he's really cocky.he went like,"yes,i have a camera and i'm snapping away.but it's my camera and i'm not showing."-.-by then i was quite pissed,thus i went to the beach patrol,while the guy swam out to sea.policemen were alerted,but when that guy came back to shore,after a frigging long time deleting the pictures of us,there's an array of pictures of other girls.i was really offended then,and with the police around,that guy seems like he'll cry any moment.i questioned him about his motive and stuffs,he kept quiet at some time,and said things like,"you're attractive and i just can't help it but to try out my new camera."what's this man?!my friend was kinda pleased to hear that,but not me.he could have asked for permission to take shots,we might gladly accept it,instead he did something so sneaky,it's invading of privacy.so please do pass this message around,to girls especially.be aware of your surroundings,there're hidden agendas around.How to save a life.
@
3:29 AM
Sunday, June 17, 2007
mostly i'll blog-hop around before coming to type my post,but this time round,it's different.i can't push myself further to take it down anymore,i'm so pissed!I HATE FAKERS!!!i just got back from DXO's second anniversary,it's not that awesome though.and there,when i reached i saw a girl i haven't seen for some time.i didn't like her that much,'cause of the impression she left me and some other things,but i decided to give her another;thinking that maybe we could be friends.i was so so so wrong can.she's bullshitting behind my back la,and i don't care about what's her motive;i just don't like what she's doing,from the time i knew her till now.i don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing,that this topic was being brought up on the way home.i was really tired and voice's coarsed.just upon hearing those things being told,i got kinda awake and set to think.JUST WHAT IS SHE UP TO?you can tell me that you believe her more than me,'cause i lied to you before,but how well do you know her?i don't know about things between the both of you,as i know you're no much better anyway.trying to be all nice in front of me ya?you've got back what you protrayed.i just don't have a tad of good impression about her,and she gives me a bad bad feeling.something just doesn't seems right,not loyal,such a faker and etc.and oh,i'm so over with being nice.i think that i should be blunt and have nothing to do towards the good side.'cause i'm so done with betrayals,fakers,everyone and everything,i wouldn't put blame anywhere as i've got a choice of who and what i wanna be.i'm not like what i used to be,those ahlian wannabe life's so faded long time ago.if i were like that now,i wouldn't be here i guess.i'm so sick of everything la,things ain't going too well for me now.i'll just take things in my stride,and solve them one by one.anyway,that girl and i are going to meet up.we need to settle this thing,i don't want it to drag further,and it really gets me boil all the time.let the things she said/say be untrue,and i'll have the winning lead.tables will turn then,and things will change too.
on another note,i've got a part time job!will blog more about it in the next post,'cause i really need to go hit the sack now.hope time passes fast tomorrow,work 11am-7pm.gotta be up be 9am,and out at 10.15am.nights all,be true.
@
4:39 AM
Thursday, June 14, 2007
this is sheer madness!i haven't slept a wink,and i'm heading out soon!it's 6:35am now,and i've got a last minute IRC breakfast outing to go to.luckily it's around my area,if not i'm not gonna go.and the world is so small!met my senior in the channel,and he's coming along too!hahas.i feel sleepy all of a sudden,but i can't back out.):hell,benson's on the bus here already.gonna go prepare!ciaos!~
@
6:31 AM
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
so on last saturday,i went to DXO.met up with quite a few people,catch up a bit here and there.i didn't go there to party!my purpose was to check out the event,meet up with some people,and off i go.took the night rider home that night,the route had changed,thus a more convenient bus to take in future.and on the 11th june,a monday;i went for a gay and lesbian party.the place was great,but the people there makes me feel otherwise.i felt like it's a post prom for little children,and they're quite engrossed in their own world.yet nothing better could have happened.the girl that i dislike is there!the first thing i got there,i saw her.-.-when i was about the enter the place,she tried to push past me.i was quite unhappy with it,but i totally took it cool.i don't know what's wrong with her,i didn't do anything towards her and yet she's behaving like this.it should be the other way round,isn't it?LOLS.kept walking and staring at me the whole time i was there,wanted to show me who's the one calling the shots too,but just too bad;you're still not up to it.i didn't think that i should be like her,'cause she's still underage,and sort of a ahlian wannabe.pure goodness hell la.thank god i've got a big heart!and i'm not like i'm used to be.hahas.she's just gonna get it hard one day,'cause i believe in karma.(:I've lost touch towards everything.
@
4:13 PM
it's really been so long!and it happened!i was so shocked,i didn't know how to react;thus all i could do was run away.it wasn't at it's best state,hence i'm not willing to show.i didn't know it's was a vice versa thing,but i hope it only applies to me.i had long for this more than a million times before,always telling myself that i do feel.but when i saw what's before my eyes,i could feel it anymore.even though those times were the sweetest and all,suddenly it felt like totally alien to me.maybe because it's the first love,that's why.it didn't happened at the right time,and i got into trouble.as i didn't know how to face the situation,i ended up in a quarrel and things just led on.it's resolve now,but not moving on.i'm beginning to lose everything.
@
4:05 PM
Monday, June 11, 2007
mark is so silly!he thinks that i'm avoiding him,but i'm not alrights.in fact i'm always looking forwards to chat with him,but i could only get online in the wee hours of the night.sometimes he's there,and sure there are times he's not.he's so cute and funny la,always say that i look like a little girl.LOLS.i hope to see him online and his tags more often la.and well,he's mark-y,only i can call him that!=p'cause those people who i like are nice;i think,their names would have a '-y' following behind.hees.i'm belle-y!sounds like belly ya?freakness.LOLS.and i'm so happy today!i packed my wardrobe,went jogging,did a lot of exercises and of course chores.i hope i don't get lazy again!and i think i'm snapping out soon,'cause i guess i'm just used to my life.can't stay in my comfort zone anymore,time to step out and grow!(:woohoos~I hope you* feel the same way too.
@
3:52 AM
Saturday, June 09, 2007
mmmmms~
i just got home from pubbing,
and working on my strawberry strudel now.
hees.
tuition at 10.10am,
got home at 11.45am
,ate and went off to nap till 1pm.
bathed and change to go to the polyclinic,
before leaving at about 4pm to meet pat at the chervon's bus-stop.
we took 502 to orchard,
cause i wanted to look around for some stuffs.
but ended up,
nothing's being bought.
headed to dinner gathering,
and everything ended at around 11.30pm.
this is when things started to get bad.
quarrels and accusations were made,
unhappiness and etc;
it's really draining me out.
it's just at the corner of my mouth,
i nearly blurt it out.
but still held it back,
when being comforted.
ahhhh~
forget it la.
hit Sky Pub with some people,
night rounded up to be pretty fun.
stomache's been at me the whole day!
so uneasy,
too much red hot stuffs today,
no wonder.
i'm going to double my exercise,
cause i put on weight again,
to think that i slimmed down a bit last few weeks.
):
You're just a TOY now.
@
5:20 AM
Friday, June 08, 2007
strudels,
me love!
i'm so in love with strudels!
been craving for it sometime ago,
but only manage to satisfied it a while ago.
luckily daddy decided to go to hello!shop at bugis,
if not i don't know when would i be able to have my strudels again.
hees.
i bought $16 worth of strudels;
2 apple,1 strawberry and 1 mini durian.
had apple most of the time,
so this time round,
i got strawberry and durian too.
they're nicely stocked up in my fridge now,
but will be gone by tomorrow morning!
half the durian strudel and 1 of the apple strudel's been down already.
woots!
so nice la,
i'm already starting to crave for more.
i bought chocolates worth $15 from the cocoa tree too!
will take pictures of them and post it up!
i've a habit;
like to splurge on food!
lalalas~
gonna head off the bed soon,
feeling sleepy and tuition's on at 10am later!
I don't want life to live me.
@
1:32 AM
Thursday, June 07, 2007
i've got meanie tags too!in fact,i'm quite happy for that.'cause may love stood up!mark-y complimented me too!refer to tagboard for edvience.*cloud nine*hees.today wasn't a deal of a good day though,got pissed a few times.mummy nagged at me early morning 6am,saying i'm stil not in bed,blah blah blah.got screamed at 7.30am by mummy again;to clean up my dog's poo.went to bugis for some fittings,and took darn long.dilly-dallied through things and waste alot of time,walked around queensway shopping centre,with gastric acting up.off to jurong point swensens;the waiter tried to ignore me!and food came on such a slow pace,was gonna strave to death la.and the worst thing,i'm being lied to.i shall not disclose anything about that.well.i loathe liars,so don't you lie to me.despite my day was so run-down.i've got something to be happy about!it's accepted!lalalas.now,just hope that things would progress from here.prays hard,but even if it happens;i wouldn't really know what to do too.hmmms.that's all for now la.mummy said she's gonna drag me out of the bed early later;help out at home then to granny's.i miss gramps!and daddy's coming home later too!woots!family day,me love!except that my youngest brother's stil not back from malaysia,he's coming back on saturday;it's gonna be noisy again!i'm happily cam-ing with mark-y now,since he's so nice to tag.hees.it's 5.03am now,goodnight people!(:
@
4:44 AM
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
OH MY GOD!i'm having mixed feelings about this!shucks!i'm wondering about just so many things right now,and they just shouldn't occurred in my life at all.i should've lead a life without worries,unhappiness,and anything that's negative!BOOS!will it get accepted?i hope so,and i want things to go on from there la.it's been so so so uber long already!i still can't put it out,longing is still there;just didn't know if it'll be the same again.well,enough of that.shouldn't get myself too into that issue,if not i don't know what'll happen.job interviewing today!no luck;it SUCKS!the first place i went to,didn't picked up the phone,and it's a dental surgery place.OH MY!i'm scared stiff already lo,after waiting for nearly half an hour,i decided to procceed to the next interview.again!calls not being picked up,and i've trouble finding that place.argh.luckily the last place was somewhere i'm familiar with,and my calls were being answered.interview went kinda smooth.if shortlisted,i'll be informed by the end of the week.but the work is a tad scary,10 working hours,and expected to work on weekends too.):meanwhile,i'll still job hunt.till i found a job,i'm comfy with i pray.(:bad bad day,things didn't really turned out alright.hope tomorrow'll be better.tuition at 10am later,and i napped just now.still,gonna try sleeping early later,in case i can't get up.I want breakthrough!
@
1:03 AM
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
some of the pictures that i've not put up,and someone said i look like ah lian!):pictures taken while having fun with the new laptop with built-in webcam!lalalas~Picture are deceiving.
@
1:01 AM
Monday, June 04, 2007
bad bad mood today!decided to draft the previous post.i'm just waiting,waiting for the time to come whereby i could soar out.maybe i'll turn back to look,but i wouldn't let myself have any regrets;trust me.luckily i've got cherries,belgain chocolate,mashed potatoes and cream soup to see me through,and well,job search today was alright;got a few appointments for tomorrow.gonna go cool myself down,watch happy feet and chat,gonna force myself to go to bed early tonight.ciaos~
@
11:46 PM
my life's been so messed up ever since I've turned 8teen.i couldn't pin-point anything,but i'm just not satisfied with everything.i used to be so different from now,from one extreme end to the other.shucks;what went wrong?somehow,everyone knows the reason why.i feel like going away till i'm fine again,really.i'm feeling pissed today,supposed to go out at a certain time,but fuck;dilly dally and headed to town.on the train to town,had a short argument;about mp3.-.-there's this street festival going on in town,popped by to take a look,make reservation for the tee that i waited eons for,and walked around.got back to the west at 10.30pm,off to eat at the market,bought some food back for mom,and it's 11.30pm already.soon,it's gonna be 1am.and it'll be a new week;Monday.job hunting and exercising officially starts,gonna keep the earns and not spend like river flow,snap out!
@
12:31 AM
Sunday, June 03, 2007
ahah.blogging time!this week've been a hideous one.hahas.been out partying on wednesday and thursday,friday was supposed to continue with partying,and same goes to my saturday.let's start with wednesday first,it's eve of vesak day;everywhere's so damn friggin' crowded!julien drove his mini cooper around,were to hit ZOUK but it's already packed at 10pm.singaporeans so kiasu eh,after dinner gather in club liao.hence we went to clarke quay;my number-don't-know-what home.met up with some other people,and dropped our stuffs at attica's baggage corner,before procceeding to gotham penthouse.the queue was so long la,but luckily i've got friends there already,thus liased a bit with the owner,and tadah;3 of us were in the club,but 2 were left outside.the other 2 were required to pay,so pat decided to leave with them to attica,leaving a virgin clubber with me;to enjoy the dance show.left for attica to joined the rest after an hour,'cause pat needed to meet up with her friends for a while.not long after,3 decided to go home.pat came back to get their baggages,we sent them off,and zoom;we're at MOS.MOS this time is so much of a difference better than the last;previously it was like humping machines everywhere.i got pissed sometime in there due to some moronic people,bumping around and standing in between people.that night seems to be a 'tranny beauty night' too,so many of them around.standing on the roundabout;waving and trying to attract attention all the time,not so gorgeous i would say.one that's not bad said fish when pat asked for her name,i was thinking is that her name or was she trying to say 'fuck' is a polite way,but i brushed off the latter;and say i'm pork and pat's chicken,leading to pat retaliating as beef.ROFLMAO.was a pretty enjoyable night.(:thursday was alright too,cabbed down to sky pub,hanged around for a while,sang a bit and off to the geographers bar.the performers there were all from thailand i guess,'cause they all conversed in thai.the crowd there were quite old,as you've got to be 23 to enter.drank quite a little there,and it's was quite enjoyable.got home at i-forgot-what-time and went to bed.friday was the first session of the new tuition assignment,this time my tutee is a boy!he's name is Don J Tan,primary five with atrocious results that barely pass;but good thing,he's targetting to get a 75 for the next CA.i hope he really work hard and achieve though,i'll help him for sure,as he's my student and my brother's friend.was supposed to meet up with pat to go to the launch of the new place at clark quay;the arena,but something cropped up in the last minute and i've got a meeting to attend to,couldn't meet up with her.meeting was done with,and it's so god-damn boring la.with people don't know where to settle down and all,it somehow did dampened me a tad bit too much.took the nr5 home and had supper before heading home,slept at about 5am.goshness,been having endless late nights,though it did helped a bit with something to do in the night,that aids in my insomnia that's gettin a bit bad.saturday was rest till the night,there was a party and plans were made to go.with stupid reasons,i backed out and so did my peeps.wasted my friday and saturday.grrr.i hope things would look up and get better.gonna go buy some assessments for my student before the next tuition session,which is on wednesday.there are so many things i wanna do too!- go shopping- short getaway this holiday- beach- job hunt- burn those accumulating fats!gimme the time and moolahs!i'm shutting all out.
@
12:52 AM
some of the pictures that i've not put up,