_ [[ I am who I am and I love it. ]] _

2009-12-03T23:20:00.002+08:00

Need to blog, need to blog, need to blog.

Have been really down on my luck recently. Everything just seems so wrong, and nothing goes the right way. Friends, family, health, simply anything and everything. All going downhill.

I've got a new hairdo, like 3 days ago. It looks like I've encountered some bombing, and my hair suffered. LOL

Now now, all the late nights and heaty stuffs I've been taking, resulting me falling sick. Cough's quite bad, and nose gets blocked a few times. It's really irritating. I hope I don't come down with a fever though. That'll be real bad.

A few birthday celebrations here and there. There sure are alot of year end babies huh. Feels good to be able to be part of the company of celebrations. Eases the mood and all.

Oh, my back's peeling. It's like 2 weeks after the sentosa trip and now it's happening. haha. Everyone's comnplaining about me being tan, is it not a good thing? Not a healthier look meh? Weird, people always have things to say. LOL

Anyway, I'm off to paint my bare nails. In case I snap them all short to showing flesh, which I'm really close to do. They're really short now. HAHA. Have a good night and an awesome weekend, guys(:

2009-11-23T21:30:00.003+08:00

I've no idea how to put everything into words and I don't know just how to do it. I'm still feeling like shit. Maybe I'm being hate now, but that's just what I deserved.

2009-11-23T02:18:00.003+08:00

I haven't slept since I woke on Saturday noon. Today've been a long and tiring day, time just seems to pass by really slowly. And I feel really down deep inside.

Alot of people must have hate me now; all the commotions and everything that happened last night outside the club. It must have ruined everyone's night. I hereby thank all who're present helping out and I'm really sorry to have caused so much trouble.

I'm really grateful to have nice people staying by me when things go haywire, I really am. I didn't know my tears would bring on so much. If it only result in hurt, I promise I'd never shed a drop ever again.

What happened yesterday've been replaying itself again and again in my mind throughout the whole time. I don't know what can I do to make things better, I guess I don't have a chance to do it too. But still, I would like to ask for forgiveness regarding what happened. I didn't mean for it to happen.

2009-11-17T03:09:00.002+08:00

突然想用中文打字，不知道为什么。还是第一次耶！哈哈。一定有许多人看不懂吧。就这样吧，我有一点无聊。呵呵。要去睡觉了，不然明早起不来去游永。晚安，再会！(:

2009-11-13T05:55:00.002+08:00

Once again, it's still best kept within me.

2009-11-13T04:32:00.003+08:00

Hellos bloggie(: My hand's numb, and I think it's an amazing thing; how it happened and feels etc. hahas. I'm not out of my mind but somehow, i like it. LOL

Some things have been happening around and in the family recently. I'm glad I've got support from a few close ones, couldn't ask for more. Thank you(: Though I'm somehow at my lowest now, but it doesn't stop me from feeling positive. I'd always try to distract myself if I know I'm going on the wrong side of thoughts. Happy that it works most of the time!

I'm getting more and more bruises nowadays, it's pretty bad. I've got this blue black on my back of the thigh, it's so hideous. Like totally black and painful. I've got to wear something long to cover my bottom half of the body recently. It's so not a good sight. I pray that it'd all recover soon enough.

And did I say I've started exercising? haha. Everyone was like shocked; they asked what happened, what motivated the lazy ass that they know and etc. LOL. I went swimming, twice in 2 weeks; did 24 laps each time. And I'm feeling good about myself! I can do it! I know it's like only once a week but at least I'm making the effort right?! I'll definitely up the number of times and laps I swim in no time(:

Sad thing, my line got cut today. Outstanding bills, gotta find ways to pay and get it back. ARGH~ Quite a handful I know are going through the broke process, it's not good. I'm so not used to it too. But what to do.... Hope everything would pick up soon(: All the best!

Getting late already, I should go prepare for bed and cultivate the feel to sleep soon. Have a good night, people. Much love(:

2009-11-08T17:20:00.002+08:00

I feel like blogging, there's so much to say. But I just couldn't put them into words and I can't blog about it. My heart...

2009-11-07T18:54:00.002+08:00

Post 720.

I just showered and ate maggie mee as meal of the day. How sad ya? But it's ok, really. Couldn't afford anything else, I'm too broke. Just watched Nancy Drew on HBO, it's nice! I'd always love the novels when I was younger. All the investigating of cases, detective yo!

Ouch, the back of my thigh hurts quite badly. There's a huge blueblack and it's swollen. I guess no mini, shorts and those that reveal skin on the bottoms for the time being till the bruises heal. lol.

Don't understand how i'm always inflicted with brusies when I go to club. But for the current ones, I do know la. It's because of the commotion at St James last night. Stupid desperate people. shan't talk about it.

Still contemplating about my plans tonight. Maybe I should just stay home for a change, and mummy might be happy. But on the other hand, I've got nothing to do at home and I might just die. LOL. So I'm still contemplating....

Till here for now, I'm going to watch Big Momma's House 2 on Channel 5 already(:

2009-10-26T03:47:00.002+08:00

Sigh. There's so much I wanna say, but I just cant seem to put it down into words.

Who's that girl, so rowdy but yet, she's got your attention. She made you go 'Wow', she made you want to know her. How you just seem to notice her at each visit and when she's not there, you were affected. How you came up with nicknames for her friends and her when you knew none of them, the way you looked at them moved. The excitement when you found her, when you knew her. Where'd it all gone to? Has it all disappeared into thin air? Have you ever wondered if you were still the same, if you've not known her. Maybe things should have just stayed at her; being the pokerdot girl.

2009-10-21T03:53:00.000+08:00

-Believe in me and I will be there.

2009-10-21T03:21:00.003+08:00

First thing first! HAPPY! Why? The radio played my favorite song; Lost in emotions. And I'm glad Nelson and Fish told me. So i ran from the living room into my room to listen to it. But, I didn't move my hands.

I guess I'm growing out of mambo. My hands no longer have its say to move when retro music's playing anymore. I'd still go to mambo, cause' I'm too used to partying during midweek. And I don't go anywhere else because, I cannot fit in; I don't appreciate other musics anymore. =/

The dance festival performance is nearing. It's just a week away from now, there're still so much room for improvements. Watching the other group practice is like watching military training. They're really good, fun to watch. And I feel my team's rather far behind from them.

Gonna have a practice on thursday before going for the full dress rehearsal with the management, and since the performing date is near; weekend's burnt. Hopefully all would turn out well(:

Recently I've been really broke, like really cashless and all. The first time in my life, it's scary. Really. Realised how important it is to have funds, and you just can't live without it. Money makes the world goes round, isn't it. Bloody possession.

And it's kinda hard to get daddy nowadays. Don't know what's he up to. I think I should prolly start jobhunting again. Like seriously. Else how am I gonna survive and I've got too much time on hand. I'm starting to rot already, from all the bumming close to 1 and a half years? LOL

I wonder if anyone actually come to my blog sometimes. Hee. Alrights. I'm already in bed now. And I shall go back to cultivating my sleepiness. Shouldn't always stay up so late. Haha. Nights world! (:

At the beginning.

2009-10-17T17:22:00.004+08:00

There's alot of things that needs to be unleashed in me. But I just couldn't find the words. And it's simply vexing. How bottled up you are and yet there's no way of pouring out the contents.

Sighs.

Let the happy moments take over the tough times, grit your teeth and bear it through. Break a leg(:

2009-10-08T23:36:00.003+08:00

And I don't know how am I going to let these emotions out. It's all mixed up. I don't know what's real and what's not now, what's good and what's not etc. I can't tell the differences now, not anymore.

Maybe if the moment's right, whatever that's gonna happen is not gonna matter. But please, would you spare my weak heart now. It is tired and doesn't want to fight anymore.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return,but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you,to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with,never say a word,and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it,but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,an hour to liike someone,and a day to love someone--but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks;they can deceive.Don't go for wealth;even that fades away.Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

Dream what you want to dream;go where you want to go;be what you want to be,because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

Always put yourself in the other's shoes.If you feel that it hurts you,it probably hurts the person too.

A careless word may kindle strife;a cruel word may wreck a life;a timely word may level stress;a loving word may heal and bless.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything,they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. When you were born,you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.Like your life so that when you die,you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Treasure what you have before it's too late. Don't guard your heart too much, let it feel and experience; there's so much more to everything. Treat others like how you want to be treated. Lastly, live your life to the fullest.

2009-10-07T04:35:00.001+08:00

- The Missy AnaBelle Jolyn C.

2009-10-07T04:19:00.003+08:00

Alrights bloggie, I'm not here to pile you with emo stuffs. I'm sorry, but I'm on the way of recovery; slowly but surely(:

I'm glad to have friends with me when I needed them so much. I'm sorry if I've been a bitch recently, haven't gotten a control over myself and upset-ed you all. Know that I'm grateful! I thank God for everyone of you that came into my life.

Without knowing, all of you left a print in my life. And I'm gonna remember it for life. 'Cause it's all of you who walked through with me.

I LOVE EVERYONE AROUND ME! :D

Anyway, I am embarking on a new journey of life; with all of you of course. Gonna be a better person. I wanna be the light that shines for all of you and be there whenever you need me(:

I'm putting everything in the past behind me, so, HELLOS THE CHIRPY ME! :D

I know it's a bit rubbish la, but I just wanna say; I'm picking myself up already(: Only problem is I'm having sleeping problems. It's quite bad, I barely sleep more than 3 hours each day. I don't know how did I survived, and no, I didn't nap.

I could only force my eyes closed and listen to the radio, hoping I would fall asleep. Sometimes it does work, but still the rest is minimal. Thus, I came up with this idea, I'm going to make myself freaking tired and I can sleep only in the night. Hope I would be able to succeed!

On a random note, I need to wee wee. So, off I go! NIGHTS EVERYONE! (:

2009-10-05T04:08:00.004+08:00

When you drop a glass or a plate on the ground, it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when it breaks, it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of the bell. But it's so silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

If there's a noise, it's internal. It screams and no one hear it but you. It scream so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It trashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. Tjat what it looks like and that's what it sounds like, a trashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. But that's the thing about love - no one is untouchable. It's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it's silent. You're screaming on the insde and no one can hear it.

-Above was adapted from 'If you could see me now' by Cecelia Ahern. And it clearly explains how I'm feeling as of right now.

Love is always gentle and kind. It is never jealous. To love someone means to give and share. Not to hold, and let go in time. To devote to one's life and bond together for the moment of eternity..

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

2009-10-02T16:41:00.003+08:00

post 712, I'm not happy. Not even a teeny weeny bit. I think I sucked, this is really a hurting world and I don't fit. Take me away, to wherever I might be from. I'm coming clean.

I couldn't remember much about my childhood days, it all seems so blurred. Things that I remembered were the things that are so often talked about. I had to go to bed at 8pm every night, and keep my toys in order so I wouldn't get scolded. It's time for homework after dinner everyday, and television wasn't something I come much contact to.

Things started getting better when we moved. Only that I really misses Gonggong alot, all those time spent with him. Till now, he lives in me. I hope he's doing good at wherever he is. I know he's with me at times, I can feel him. I love him, till the last breathe.

Daddy's always away for work. Never have that of a time for us, give and take. For the life we're leading now, dad's just got to slogged harder. He's the only person in the world, who would give just anything I ever wanted to me. His love for me was so much more that I could ever asked for.

While mummy's in charge of the boys, she didn't really much showed how I meant to her. Sometimes she would vent her anger on me. Just because I am the apple in my father's life, it was like a sore in her eyes. I took it all in stride, for I'm willing to take it all for my family. I love them with my life.

My brothers and I may not seems close in any bit. But deep down, we all know. We're a family and we stick around together. Quarrels are inevitable, hurtful words often used, even fights. In just a matter of time, we'll all be fine again.

Till here for now. I'll come back with more.

2009-10-02T00:12:00.000+08:00

FUCK MY LIFE.

'nuff said.

2009-09-22T02:22:00.001+08:00

2009-09-22T01:50:00.002+08:00

And sometimes, I wish...

- I was born without a heart.
- I could run away from what's hurting me.
- I could wear a mask all the time.
- I could sleep and wake up to find the world is actually beautiful.

But, it's all just remains as wishes. It's all never gonna come true. I could go on wishing yet knowing, it all isn't about me. I always fall, at the hands of the loved ones. I'm a sucker for it.

Again in all, I wish.
I. AM. NOT. HERE. AT. ALL.
IN. THE. FIRST. PLACE.

It shall stay as a wish, an act of delusion. 'Cause it's not ever gonna happen. I'm already here, so there's no going back. FAT HOPE.

I don't think I have any reasons to feel like the way I'm feeling now, it's just wrong. I've got what I need but yet, why? Why do I feel this emptiness? It's like a hole; I'd tried every means to fill that fails me all the time.

Tears, they flow. My heart, it aches. Will it ever feel better? No, for I'll not let it feel again. I shall guard it, keep it in a safe. Take it far away, somewhere out there, where no one's gonna find it again.

I'd tried, I'd fight. I've done my best. Only at the end of the day, I'm still that abandoned girl everyone else left behind.

2009-09-21T23:22:00.003+08:00

Guess I'm gonna die one day. From drinking. Drinking is my life. HAHA. I've been drinking since wednesday till today. I AM AN ALCOHOLIC! :D

I am Auntie Missy too. Everyone just turns to me when they have problems. Maybe by talking to me, they'll feel better and all? I'm just glad I'm of help. LOL. But at the end of the day, did I help?

Do I really look as happy-go-lucky? Don't I have problems myself? I don't know, 'cause sometimes I don't even know myself. HOW NICE.

'Nuff. I'm outta here. It makes no sense. I'm just happy that blogger is functioning well. BYE.

2009-09-09T03:00:00.000+08:00

The 707th post. 3.02am. Aimless. How nice. Have a lot running through my head though, gonna call it a night soon.

OUT.

2009-08-19T01:58:00.002+08:00

Yes, I felt it. I need to post. Very badly. It's tearing me apart.

I was right, but I didn't know what's going wrong. What went wrong, would somebody tell me? I tried my best to find out, but I'm not a person who would kick a fuss. Was it me or what? Now, we'll never know.

For, you've did something that really broke my heart. You blocked me out, took me off. I guess there's nothing else I could do too. Am I not right, there's not any form of communication between us anymore.

But still, I would like to thank you. For all those efforts, time and everything. Only thing now, I've changed my point of you. I'm sorry, I just thought that you could just be more polite and end it all instead of doing all these disappearing acts.

I never was disappointed with you, but now, I am. Very. I took it all in stride; when you blew me off, couldn't join me for activities etc, I would just come up with excuses for you and put it out of my head. Now, I can't. You've just did it.

Last year, you came and went away. This year, just what did you tell me? Bulls. I believe in sweet nothings, NOT. I was foolish, I've only got myself to blame. But please, don't ever come back again next year. You've caused enough.

I could handle any ugly and harsh truth, but not this. I'm not angry, I just feel that my efforts all went down the drain, and i don't bloody well deserved this. Anyway, we're through now. I wish you all the best in the future.

I'm fine, don't worry. It's just human going through motions. Nothing much. And I've learnt, it's not my game. I don't fit, so I'm out(:

2009-08-18T02:44:00.000+08:00

I need to bitch. But it seems that this isn't the place anymore too. So i guess I've got no choice but to swallow it all down and keep it within me.

2009-07-31T21:18:00.000+08:00

Blogger has a problem!! Cannot blog properly!! GRR!! So that explains why I haven't been blogging.

Now now, It's a Friday. And know what? I'm home!! LOL. Are you surprised?! :D

It's granny's birthday dinner tomorrow, and I've got plans to go to Dbl O after that(: But we shall see how, hopefully everything goes well la!

Been shopping, bought 2 dresses and a shorts within a week! HOORAY!! :D I WANT MORE SHOPPING!! PLEASE!! :D

And I've went to sign the contract for Esplanade's Da:ns Festival with my teammates already. We're going to perform on 28th Oct at Esplanade. Make a note on your calendar and remember to come down to support us! :D The event starts at 8.15pm. And it's all about Mambo(: HOW COOL:D

I shall continue to go waste my Friday away; rest etc, for a better Saturday filled with fun! :D Toodles~

2009-07-27T02:26:00.000+08:00

And here I've come to blog again. BLOGGED. Is this counted? LOL.

I know I'm lame, and I can't help it. :P

2009-07-08T15:39:00.002+08:00

2 post since I'm back!! :D I'm so glad that I still have readers!! hahas. And they're the surprise!! I didnt expect them to be here! WOOTS!!! Way to go!! :D

It was my youngest brother's birthday yesterday and he's such a poor lad. Fallen sick, he's enjoying himself at home though 'cause no school for him for 2 days ma. -.- And granny came over yesterday too; stayover for a few days. So that means I've gotta be a good girl these few days. BOOS!

Weather's been kinda good recently, and I'm a happy girl because of that! But I've been feeling really tired all the time these 2 days, and I kept dozing off. hahas. Maybe it's due to my change, sleep early wake up early, body's not used to it. LALA~

Anyway, I'm here just for the sake of blogging. lol. And and and, I'm so looking forward to the weekend!! Friday, Saturday and Sunday!! :D

CAN'T WAIT!! :D

2009-06-30T00:35:00.001+08:00

- A picture of me taken last wednesday(:

2009-06-30T00:04:00.004+08:00

Alrights. It's been a long long long time since. And tadah! I'm back!! For how long I would not know though. If anyone checks on my blog, I hope to see you leave a tag in the cbox. So that I know it's not really that dead here yet. LOL.

Good news good news. My team won the Mambo dance off held at Zouk last wednesday!! YAY!! I was the first to get kicked out of the competition last year, and this year, emerge as the winner. Thanks for the support friends! :D

Here's the links to the videos;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyK7a-q5taU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ3xL9SOIlc

ENJOY!! :D

I shall update a bit about myself in case you people wonder what I've been up to. Haha. Well, it's been close to a year since I've got a job. I've been enjoying and wasting life la. BUT! I'm back to job hunting now(:

I'd my fair share of bumming around, and now that I'm in the twens club, I should get a grip of myself already. I can't possibly carry on this lifestyle. It's just not healthy!!

Drinking, clubbing, late nights, smokes, sleep in the day and do nothing. I'm bored of that already. I WANNA GO BACK TO WORK!! So at least, i don't have to depend on others anymore. I would earn my keeps and even when I spend; it's my hard earn money. (:

Let me share something; I'm not going to such a super regular at night spots anymore, it doesnt do me any good except for getting to know more new people. I'm not going to drink so frequently too, as for smoking; I've quit. Why spend the money to harm yourself, no point!

Cut down on late nights, try to turn in early every night and be active in the day! Right now, I'm like some zombie; sleep in the day and do everything else in the night. People! Help me look out for jobs!! I wanna be useful and spend my time fruitfully.

I wanna go for holiday~~~ There're alot of things I wanna do. And all it boils down to, $ money. Without it, there's pretty much nothing you can do. Towards a better life, I'm willing now. (:

Lastly, thanks for all the support that's being given to me when I needed! :D

Gonna sign off for now, hope I would come back and blog again! Haha. TOODLES~

2008-11-26T01:38:00.000+08:00

2008-11-26T01:16:00.003+08:00

alrights. i think this is the longest ever time that i'd left my blog to rot. lols. i cant help it. my memory aint getting anywhere nowadays. and there's nothing really interesting enough to blog about. BOOS!

anyway, i shall update also la. for the sake of responsibility to this blog and to let those who doesnt really get into contact with know what's going on in my life(:

well well, where should i start? hmmmms...

okays. as usual, i'm a mambo girl at heart, so every wednesday i'll be at Zouk. :D just 2 weeks ago, got injured by a trans. ): poor foot. kena jumped on, and the blue black appeared instantly. it's still hurting whenever i touch it. arghs~

and i'd go by dbl o on saturdays if i'm bored. it's also retro, heh. but not as fun as zouk la! just go there to see public buses and people getting drunk, otherwise hang out with my mambo peeps. :D

as for my weekends, it's always good to have boardgames coming up!! :D gotta look for nice cosy cafe to slack and play all kinds of board games, not settlers or minds though. cos we've got our own boardgame!! :D woooolala~

Christmas is coming!! just like a blink of an eye, year 2008 is winding up soon. what have you people achieve this year? anything memorable happened? was it a good year? fret not if it haven't been great, there's 2009! and it's not the end yet! make miracles, not wait for them to happen! (:

i'm getting my christmas wishlist up, do feel feel to select anyone of them and sent it as a gift to me!! i would be so thankful!! :D

-that cupcake maker from the kids department! ( can make real cupcake lehs!! )
- magic eightball! (i refuse to put it down after playing with it at suntec)
-more maxi dresses!
-new digicam!
-new notebook!
-new handphone! (my current phone can throw into the drain already. lousy~)
- lastly, more cash!! :D

fulfil my christmas wish list please!!! -pouts- toodles~

2008-11-03T14:56:00.001+08:00

2008-11-03T13:31:00.002+08:00

i feel the need to be hold, to be whisper to saying that the world would be a better place. is it just me or there're people who feel the same as i do?

tell me about relationships. what is it to you? does it have any value? think about it, would you give anything in exchange and all?

and now, what is love. what would you do and prove your love? would you want your efforts to go down the drain? how would you feel?

i once had a boyfriend whom i was together with close to 1 year. things were pretty cool when we first known, but not even a month into the relationship he snogged a girl right in front of me. i was very upset, and what he did was hurl abuses at me after i confronted him.

i don't know why but i still carry on with him. things didnt work out, and i was a fool. i kept hoping that one day, he'd change. he went on dates and kept our relationship a secret from other girls. he even brought them home.

what can i do? i didnt dare confront him. he raises his hand, he shouts and all. he's abusive, even in public too. it'd left a kind of fear in me. in the end, i couldn't take it any longer and broke up with him. to have myself scared everyday. he knocks on my windows at night, and threw a chair at me too. calls and shout, blaming me for the relationship.

i am easily contented. i just wanna know that i'm the one, and my efforts aren't going down the drain. i hope that love would be true and it could change people. but in my case, it's still the negative.

2008-10-11T02:30:00.001+08:00

2008-10-10T23:30:00.003+08:00

phew~

it's been a long long time... anyone miss me? lols. don't ask me what have i been busy with! 'cause i can't remember and prolly all i did was slacking! hahas.

been spending alot too!! bad bad thing! no income and yet i'm spending like nobody's business. gonna chalk up bills already!! -faints- GIMME BLINGS!! :D

haven't been actively online, only on facebook and msn. I'M GOING MIA AGAIN!! :P

gotta set a new resolution!! and this time i MUST stick to it!! but i shan't disclose it... heees... full of suspense... lalas~

last but not least...

STOP FUCKING MAKE YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM MY PROBLEM!!! I'VE GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS TO SETTLE ALREADY IF YOU DON'T KNOW. DO NOT TRY TO ACT LIKE SOME BIG SHOTS AND BRAG! I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING!! PLEASE GET IN CHECK WITH YOURSELF AT ALL TIMES ELSE YOU'LL ONLY GET ON EVERYONE'S NERVES!

done with whining. (: goodbye.

2008-09-15T04:23:00.000+08:00

2008-09-15T04:21:00.001+08:00

bahhh... it's prolly just one of those nights. i'm moody. i've tried.

2008-09-13T04:04:00.001+08:00

- this picture is still a mystery to me today.

2008-09-13T03:54:00.002+08:00

yawns~ it's late night now. and i just thought about updating, cos i've been missing for nearly half a month already. hahas.

gonna have a few hours of sleep, then wake up early to help my mum with the preparations to pray to gonggong. hopefully i've got spare time on hand to go for my nails session and threading. in the night, it's gonna be my aunt Jolene's birthday party.

packed day it is later on. after the celebration, i'll be staying out at my friend's. there's a wedding to attend on sunday, and next sunday. 2 weddings in 2 weeks. cool~ i bet they'll all be lovely brides. once in a lifetime, the most beautiful day of their life.

i pray that the D&D proposalll be accepted. i cant wait!!! :D 13th december is a packed day as well, if everything goes well la. heard that zoukout's on that day, then it'll be the D&D day too, as well as Andy Lau's concert!!!

i wanna go!!! he's my husband! wahahahas... i better log off before i go on and on. lols. have a good night people! :D await my further posts!!

xoxo.

2008-09-01T03:29:00.002+08:00

2008-09-01T03:19:00.003+08:00

and yes, i've finally felt the need to blog. i do not know why. but i just this is the only outlet. i hope i'll feel relived after this. (:

lotsa things been happenings recently, and i've been missing out on alot of fun too. nevertheless, i'm contented to have spent my time with those i'm able to.

feeling kinda blue.

oh well, i'm starting work this month, mid-month to be exact. customer service consultant at adam khoo learning technologies group. a part timer, located opposite amara hotel. feel free to pop by and say hi. :D

and, my line's being barred AGAIN. less nonsenses from me, i'm sorry for those who tried contacting me but got no responses. anyone misses me though? hahas.

I MISS ALL MY LOVELIES AROUND ME!

spent half of last week at my granny's and now i'm back home. much more easier to be contacted already!

it's late now. gonna hit the sacks. DON'T FORGET PEOPLE, MEET UP SOON! (:

2008-08-22T00:18:00.000+08:00

- lotsa love. (:

2008-08-22T00:10:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling loved recently, from everyone!! :D

good thing eh? good things must share!! hahas. :P i love everyone around me too. heees...

met up with some friends recently, so much so much to catch up on!! and i love catching up!!! truckload to bitch about. i'm a girl, i like to bitch! LOL. ok, that's random i know. but who cares~

something else, i think that my cousins are all good looking!! hahahas. dont ask me why, but a moment ago while i was checking my friendster, that thought came to my mind. and i felt that i should pen it down. pardon me! :D

that's all for now, i'll be back with more juicy posts! good night and loves!! (:

2008-08-18T14:52:00.003+08:00

i may not say what i always feel. i handle things in my own way, the way that i feel most suitable. i would rather myself get hurt than someone whom i care for and all get hurt. i would go the miles.

-the world, it doesn't matter.

2008-08-16T06:26:00.001+08:00

- sleeping disorder, please go away.

2008-08-16T06:21:00.002+08:00

i so wanna blog and put up pictures. but!! it's 6.20am already. i should go to bed. lest my mum tries to wake me darn early in the morning again. -.-

need to bathe baby later! smelly dog! hahas. sometimes he's just so cute, but yet at times, he's just so annoying; those barks and attention seeking moments. :P

headed out and saw alot of familiar faces. i felt like a schoolgirl again when i saw my secondary crush. HAHA. dont think he knows me la, last time in school also never interact before. tsk. but he's really cute la! heees....

i shall update soon. needa hit the sack now! :D

lastly,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNIE!! LOVEYA BABE! HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOURSELF!! :D

2008-08-11T12:39:00.001+08:00

- those days...
- where the other beauty, fen?
- the siblings grown up... (:
-BEST FRIEND. :D
- MY TWINNIE . :D

2008-08-11T12:27:00.003+08:00

more words more pictures! nothing's putting me down!! :D

finally done with the alteration of my resume and sent out, waiting for replies! hopefully i'll get hired again soon, life without a job is boring the shit outta me. and i need my source of income!!! BADLY!!

just got my pictures transferred to my drives too, so it'll be easier to manage. and i can bring it everywhere i go. :P

i'm waiting for daddy to come back home now. we're going to visit granny! :D i miss her~

friends were over for steamboat yesterday, didnt know the outcome was pretty good. quite a number of people. i hope they enjoyed themselves and had a good time. didnt entertain pretty much as i've got things to handle most of the time. but it was a filling meal! SO FULL!

i need crayons! to color up my life! :D

I LOVE THE PEOPLE AROUND ME~

2008-08-08T05:04:00.003+08:00

- Let's all start humping each other! :D
- The new conventional way of bringing your belongings around.
- My twin waste time enjoying beating up some monsters in the arcade while we're at genting.
- & upfront picture of us, the twinnies. :D- Lastly, the one who 'mother-ed' the twinnies in genting; Cynthia, she said of not being mentioned in my blog. So now, here she is! HAHA. And that pillow is mine! She came over to steal it before we left for our holiday! :P

2008-08-07T16:52:00.000+08:00

-the 3 girls who went to genting together(:

2008-08-07T16:45:00.002+08:00

hello everyone!! i reckon i need to do some updates aye? lols. did all of you miss my absence? :P

late nights' taking a tow on me. i feel old now!!! hahas. nights are like my day, and day are like my nights. i need my dose my music, drinks and dance frequently. and the company is the most important thing! I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!! :D

people who know you do not need your explaination, but to people who doesnt know you, there's no use explaining; cause they'll never understand.

i've got quite a lot of genting pictures to upload, and i haven't done so! grrr. lazy lazy girl me. i shall go and call up some of my loves to talk to them now.

have a good day! BYE~

2008-07-26T19:38:00.000+08:00

2008-07-26T19:34:00.002+08:00

GO ON.... KEEP THE TAGS COMING!! :D

no replies from me doesnt mean that i don't blog anymore or whatsoever. i'll still be popping by every so often to take a look at my blog's well-being.

just gotten home from genting say an hour ago? it was a nice trip. enjoyed myself and had fun!! loads of peektures to be uploaded and view.

back's aching again. i seriously need some good rest and a good massage! will update more later. gotta go get some stuffs done.

adios~

2008-07-12T20:52:00.000+08:00

2008-07-12T20:47:00.002+08:00

i know i know. i know i've not been blogging for a long long time. i'm just too lazy... and i've got no time... all the excuses... hahas. but what to do.. i'm just out everyday and i only wake up in the noon, close to evening time.

i've got quite a number of pictures to upload. but i'm still toolazy to do so. see when i've got the feeling of doing so bah. and well, i did take part in the mambo dance off competition. i didnt win though, i had a lot of fun la. seeing the friends came down specially for me to support, melts me heart la. :D

i do feel loved by my friends. they do care, i know, i feel it. and most importantly, i experienced it. they're really cool and nice people.

alrights, i shall log off for now. hope to blog soon la! (:

2008-06-26T17:35:00.001+08:00

- a recent picture of me to show my wellbeing. (:

2008-06-26T17:17:00.002+08:00

i've been jobless for a week!!! hahas. now, i sleep only when the sun is up, and get up at evening time. out every night, looking for accompanies. and it's always the usual suspect. LOL.

it's mambo again last night!! it's so nice to have all the people you know mambo-ing together, having fun together. and so, panda korkor was there with weiliang and a few of his friends, shermie with the people from DBL O, mambo, kester and me.

gerald the mambo king kept asking me to go to the center platform, but i prefer my ladies podium so i stayed there. brought kester over and left him at the center. heees.

the management of zouk is giving me a member card!!! it's through invites only. there's a catch la, there's a mambo competition for zouk's 16th anniversary on the 9th of july. they want me to join, good thing, no auditions and directly to the finals. how's that?

i need to look for a partner and i've got offers already. not that i'm picky or whatsoever, but i'm not good at mambo yet and the offers from people are really good. few years at mambo, what am i. LOLS.

will see how la. it's spain and russia today, i might go catch it. been drinking alot, should cut down on it. hahas. mummy's coming back on saturday night, and granny's going home tomorrow. bet she can't stand my lifestyle and is going back to bitch about it. lols. like i care~

BOOHOO~

i'm off people, to prepare myself for the day to come. :D

2008-06-18T01:46:00.001+08:00

2008-06-18T01:31:00.002+08:00

& i think all the time.

i hate it, merely just hate the imagine of you invading into my mind, taking over my emotions. please. stop the word of mouth. i dont need to know, if i wanna know, i would find out myself, i would ask. but no! keep those informations to yourselves, thank you.

it's good to know that he's doing well now, got a nice girlfriend. stop at there, just end it there. too much information isn't doing anyone good. i've come so far, getting used to things on my own already. i didnt need any torments from the past now.

leave me alone.
-----------------------------------------
alrights~ and my work only end like end of next month, gosh... i dred working there already, though i needn't wait too long nowadays, but having nothing to do really bores me outta my mind. it makes me LAZY!!!

ahhhh~ everyday in office is like a routine. 11am get into office, eat/play psp/read etc, 1pm start my sleeping. wake up around 4-4.20pm. it's time to pack and wait to knock off from work. it's so monotone la.

sighs.

i hope i'll be able to get another real soon. mummy's going to macau next week, for 1 week. graany would be here staying with us, 'cause school would be starting already and my youngest brother would need to be looked after.

my youngest brother got a operation scheduled the day after his birthday, 8th july. something to do with his tonsils i guess, too big. and cousin's starting school on the 7th july, same as may. they're in the same class too! hahas.

so this time round, i guess chances of me moving back to kallang would be high. else other than the maid, granny doesn't have much company. moving there means less to no more late nights. ):
shall see about it la~ there's nothing there. will talk to papi about it too. (:

i guess that's all for now. till then folks. :D

2008-06-15T13:31:00.003+08:00

hellos everyone!!! it's been a frigging long long time since i blog. hahas. i've been oh-so-lazy la, and i know i've got alot of due pictures. gimme time, and i'll try to get them all up. :D

now, i'm in love with someone. i wanna put his pictures all over my room. he's just so so so so super charming!!! and last night he scored a last minute goal for Spain. it's easy to know who he is already aye? (:

Spain, Number 7....

DAVID VILLA!!! he's just so cute la~ look at him!!!! through out the soccer match, i was looking for him. just so awesome!!! :D -drools-

I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!! ahhhhhh~ i bet no one can stand me going on and on about him la. -zips-

for this whole of the week, i've been out till late everyday. the soccer matches and clubbing nights, it's all so evil can. late nights, i'm turning into a panda soon. LOLS.

it's father's day today, the whole family from dad's side is over at my place. pray to gonggong and some family bonding session. I LIKE!!! dad's also home today!! I SO LOVE THE GUYS FROM CHUA FAMILY TOO!!!

i'm off to spend time with the family already!! goodbye! :D

2008-05-31T06:07:00.000+08:00

2008-05-31T06:06:00.001+08:00

AWAY.
CLEARING MIND.
BE BACK SOON.

2008-05-25T03:12:00.000+08:00

2008-05-25T02:32:00.003+08:00

just got back from mum's advanced birthday celebration at bukit batok. feeling kinda tired, glad mum had fun. (:

dad's back today, brought the family out to dinner along with bff, grandmother and peilin. dine at IMM's crystal jade. food's a bit low in standard compare to the previous time. and i still do prefer imperial.

and yea, i've got pictures from today, and some other days as well. too lazy to even blog, let alone say upload them. hahas. will do it soon la. have patience ok? (:

it's hard to find someone whom you can actually confide in and depend on if you ever need someone there; friend. let's not talk about boy-girl relationship, but just friendship alone. it's difficult to really see through and know who your true friends are.

call me a flirt, a bitch, a liar, whatever. go ahead and brand me. i don't actually care that much anymore; reason to it, i keep it to myself. else i'll get further comments.

i'm just pretty upset over what'd happened. disappointments, when things go wrong, every other things just snowball along. and i'm sorry for i've hurt may yesterday. it was friday, OUR day. yet i hung with some other people. i bet she could feel her heart dropped, but i just wanna tell her that i'm really sorry.

i know, from the bottom of my heart; i wanna care for her, to be there when she needed somebody, to have her dependent on me. and i've ruined it, just by making a wrong choice. leading to wrong impressions and assumptions, next things getting out of hand.

this is the thing with me, i trust people too easily and my heart's soft. there're pros and cons about it. it seems like it's heading more towards the cons.

not long ago, i told lies. but come to think of living with lies in life, it's just tough. and i've done what i could to come clean with it already. i admit to the lies i told, the reason being and whatever's asked. it's just too tiring. and you live with a kind of fear. it's so over with me.

i need my deprived rest. i'm gonna start on my healthy lifestyle, drinking and smoking; out of my life. and yes, clear my mind of thoughts, start re-ORGANISING MY LIFE.

2008-05-23T02:55:00.000+08:00

2008-05-23T02:53:00.003+08:00

twinkle twinkle little star,
how i wonder what you are.
up above the world so high,
like a diamond in the sky.
twinkle twinkle little star,
how i wonder what you are.

2008-05-21T17:40:00.000+08:00

- just to have you back again, i'll do anything.

2008-05-21T17:22:00.002+08:00

my heart wince everytime i think of you. those mistakes. my heart just drop by inches each time. i feel sick, disgusted by myself. the doors are closed, tightly shut.

i wanna do shoots again. but the state that i'm in, it's horrible. getting way too fat, and my left hand is useless. screw it all man.

oh, did i mention, my brother and his gf got me a furry red g string for my birthday? lols. they passed it to me some days ago only. how cheeky is that couple. tsktsk.

hopefully everything goes well between the both of them, crazy couple. lols.

pain's starting again. how awful. pain killers doesn't help anymore. i'm so tired. Daddy God, heal me please. I LOVE YOU. i'll be a good girl, i'm sorry. ):

the world is coming to an end! all the disasters, global warming etc. how long do we have to live? what is the last thing you wanna do before you pass on? thought of that?

hope everyone knows where they're going in life and have a way to it. (:

2008-05-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

2008-05-21T00:05:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry to ruin things with my own bare hands. just as things were going to fall into place, i destroyed it. i'm terrible sorry, i apologise for everything that i've done. i've hurt alot of people.

had a short talk with some friends, it felt really good. even though we're not very close, the concern is still there, i appreicate it. thank you(:

i'm logging off for now already, have a good night people. will blog about the dinner tonight soon; with pictures. :D

till then~

2008-05-19T16:15:00.003+08:00

BEFORE!

AFTER!

- BFF and me! we've got bangs!! :D
- BFF trying to scare herself in the mirror. lols. and this is her before the hair cut. :P

how's our hair cut?!?! nice?!?! it's really a brand new image, alot of people couldn't recognise me!! lols.

2008-05-19T15:39:00.003+08:00

WHAT DO YOU SAY A NEW HAIRCUT?!?! :D

woots! i look like some underage girl now!! i've got bangs! bang BANG BANGS!!! i've clipped my hair short too, been thinking of getting a new image for quite a while already. and TADAH! i did it!! i even made BFF do the same!! :P

daddy drove us to boon keng after dropping granny home on last friday; gonggong's 100th day prayers. time passes so fast, gonggong's gone for so long already. it's nice to hear about him when the family gets together, the dreams they had about him and all; reliving the times when he's still around.

okok. so on the way to granny's place, i was presuading BFF to get bangs as she wanted to cut her hair as well. she agreed! after droping granny off, i was presuading daddy to get his hair cut too, so he can go pay for us! LOLS. and daddy really went with us! =/

i know i'm evil! i'm such a lousy person! hahas.

and so, yesterday was daddy's birthday according to the lunar calendar. the whole family went out to eat. 16 of us, food's nice, but the waiting was horrible. amounted to $700. parted ways with the rest as brother and cousin wanted to go walk around while i waited for mikey in town.

he's back! HE'S BACK!! (: but for 5 days only. ): better than nothing la hor. so after meeting mikey, headed to eugene's place for outing. i was a little bored until BFF came to join us, play the ps3, guitar game. it's fun!! wheee~

but my hand is really terrible. it just wouldn't really coordinate, and was giving me a bit of problems yesterday. prolly go to a doctor to get it check soon, fix the nerves and whats not. sighs.

dinner with amy, eugene, matthew, mark, mike, BFF and cozy at heartland mall before cabbing down to zouk. was there for a short short while like half an hour? and then i left. wasn't in the mood to do anything and was a little tired. =/

got home, brother's playing mahjong with his friends. and i felt alive after my shower. (: slept at close to 6am in the morning. heees.

2008-05-15T04:23:00.003+08:00

- & i still think about you all the time, here without you baby.

2008-05-15T03:59:00.002+08:00

i wonder if my blog is still being bookmarked by you, and do you still read it. but i'm going to blog anyway.

many a times, when i'm smoking alone in my office, my thoughts would wander to you. i would sit there and ponder, but i just couldn't pinpoint. you would appear when i close my eyes, sometimes i wanna pull you close but i know, it's all over.

thanks for the happy times that you've brought, i knew i was happy, but i just didn't know how to show. i was too scared that i'll be hurt again, call me a selfish bitch. and in the end, you got hurt, i'm sorry.

thanks for walking through the depressing stage with me, you're always there and i really appreciate it. i'd always been a burden to you. now that, i'll learn to take care of myself and be a much better person.

thanks for all the care, concern, love and everything that you've showered me once with. it'll stay intact with me, and i wish you all the best in your everything. i give my blessings to your new relationship.

may she be the one for you, may everything goes smooth. most of all, to love you like how you love her. i may not have your love anymore, but i wish that you'll be happy from now and on. i've accept that things wouldn't go well for us anymore.

it'll still take sometime to get over the rest, but i'll be fine. i'll stand up strong again. please do take care of yourself, know that there're people who'll be worried for you. to love is to let go, i've learnt it. (:

2008-05-14T19:15:00.000+08:00

2008-05-14T18:50:00.003+08:00

call me a party girl, i am one. (:

long work hours approaching, gotta help out at the road show. it's gonggong's 100th day this saturday, everyone's coming over to my place. granny and maid's here already today, need to get some things done before saturday. i hope granny's feeling better.

went to watch harold and kumar 2 again yesterday. funny shit. offensive yet able to knock you off your seat. the company is nice, so i dont mind a second take.

i miss my twinkle twinkle. ):

2008-05-11T18:17:00.001+08:00

2008-05-11T15:37:00.003+08:00

Hi blog, hi everyone. i've been not updating for sometime, was lazy, plain lazy. uh uh. not busy not doing anything. no excuses.

but those who didn't know that i'm seldom online now is partly due to my work, and so after work, i may prolly hang with some peeps and come home late. by the time i get home, i just wanna have enough rest to wake up for work the next day.

from the day i'd start work, i've been coming home at weird hours in the morning. maybe that i just needed company and all to keep my mind sane for the moment. but it might not be. insomnia is back. i could only tire myself out, in that way, i could rest.

now, let's talk about work. office's at sheton way. i'm like a security guard, holding the post of an admin. i'm the only one in the office, i can do anything i want; eat, sleep, play games, whatever. only when there're people who walk in, that i have to handle. other than that, there's nothing much to do.

and yes, i do my own things everyday in office. wait for my manager; who's always late, to come open the door for me and leave after that. when i step into the office, first thing i do is plug in my portable radio and class 95 is love! :D

next i'll bring out my baby pillow, psp, water bottle and snacks to leave it on the table. now you see why i always carry a big bag. there're so much things to bring around. those mentioned above ain't all, there's still chargers, books, notepad, stationaries etc. alot to be list out. hahas.

i would want to hereby apologise to everyone for who i am recently. i know it's pretty fucked up, and i'd pissed quite a handful of people already. thanks for telling me that this horrible person is not me, thanks for staying close by. much appreciate. :)

i was thinking to myself, how screwed up i am now. but after dipping my head into the ice cold bucket of water, i'd start to clear my mind. it all isn't as complex as i thought it was, just because i was so tied up with the problems, i didn't think of the solutions. how dumb. haha!

relationship's to an end for now. things didn't work out, we'd tried. was too strong headed to be holding on and not letting go, have been a pest i suppose. though i've got over the fact that we're not together anymore, but the rest are still fresh in my mind.

sometimes i still do think back, why this end? but when things happen, they just happen. this is life. (:

been getting a tad too much attention these days, and i'm kinda digusted. like seriously. i reckon i dont need this kind of attention right now. i may have sent out wrong signals, false hopes and other means to make you'all think that i'm leading you on. not ready for anything. and i'm sorry that complications have arised because of me. let's all just be friends now, thank you.

i'm like becoming a party animal all over again!! wooohooos~ club on wednesdays, double o with BFF and others on fridays, sometimes club on saturdays too and for sundays, it's been pubbing. but tonight might be diferent, st james? lol.

BFF, debbie and bryan's going to sentosa tomorrow; TANNING!! and i can't go!! i've got work!! how sad is that la!! i love the sun!! i wanna tan, but constrains. ): slowly la! catching ironman tomorrow too! heard that it's an awesome show, can't wait!! lalas~

oh ya! i wanna watch 'the other boleyn girl'!! saw the trailer, seems interesting. anyone interested?!

AHHH. stupid me. i shouldn't be asking here, 'cause my blog is like so dead now. no tags no nothing. i know there're still a few faithful readers, but it's a bit cold in here yea? =/

alrights, gonna head out to get some prayers things for gonggong. 100 days coming, i still wonder why did he leave us so fast. i miss him alot alot, and i dont see him while some dreamt of him. is he doing well? is he close to us? where is he?

poor granny's down with depression. been missing gonggong too much. it just tears me open more to see all these happen at this time. what a problematic season. let's just hold out a bit longer and all will be fine! :D

last but not least,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS IN THE WORLD! :D

2008-05-05T03:13:00.001+08:00

- my style <3.

2008-05-05T03:06:00.002+08:00

spent my actual day of my birthday packing my room as granny's heading over on tuesday, she's got depression. poor old lady, must be miss gonggong too much already. shall spend ore time with her and hope she get well soon. (:

had a filling lunch before heading out with my mum and youngest brother to meet my relatives at bukit batok for karaoke session. been some time since i see them, catch up a little. sing sang sung~

got home around 11pm. didn't do anything much, but it's still enjoyable. work tomorrow!! do nothing!! lols.

turning in soon! good nights everyone, hope you'd enjoy your day. :D

ps; i kept looking through it, a mixture of feelings aroused. what went wrong? i miss... still there?

2008-05-04T11:54:00.000+08:00

-May all my wishes come true. (:

2008-05-04T11:47:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! :D

another year older, a year passed filled with happenings. gave and take in many ways, looked at life in different perspectives.

celebrated my birthday a day earlier, supposed to have a house party, but due to some reasons. it's called off. i miss gonggong. ):

met BFF may at jurong point with her sister before heading for afternoon tea at orchard hotel,with BFF, brother lionel and his girlfriend;peilin, bryan, belgrand and meimei. awesome la. didn't ate alot, but it's the company that counts. lotsa laughters, me love~

after tea, meimei and belgrand went for pool practice while may, bryan and me head to marina square for massage, brother and girlfriend went home. met flurry sweetheart 'cause she passed me somethings.

waited for colin at the taxi stand as he wanted to send me his gifts. cabbed down to boat quay; liquid for drinks and waited for the rest to come; celebrate me birthday! :D

torres,wahliew,eddie,evilxue,barry,ricky,cynthia,debbie,alan,sharon came to drink and spend the happy moments with me. feels good! :D saw cousin marcus there as well, kept trying to chase me out. lols. brother came down with some of his friends for drinks too.

i'm a happy girl!! tons of people sent me their regards, glad they remember my big day! hees. i've got presents too. how sweet~ :D

bff left early to go home and rest, but she's so lovely la. called me at midnight to wish me happy birthday. surprised me with bryan and alan as well. got me a sunflower each. I LOVE SUNFLOWERS!!! whheeee~ *melts*

headed off at around 2am with barry,debbie,cynthia,ricky and weiliang;i drank quite alot. to double o meet panda korkor and butterfactory to look see look see. porridge at chinatown before heading home.

barry's such a sweetie, helped me with my stuffs and sent me right to my doorstep. i like guys who dress smartly and is gentlemanly. (:

pictures up in the post below! prezzies~

2008-05-04T11:46:00.000+08:00

-surprise sunflowers BFF, bryan and alan. :D

-BFF so sweet~ printed one of our picture out for me, with happy birthday bff on the back. (:

- the swarovski earrings BFF got for me as birthday present. <3

- zippo lighter with cravings of AnaBelle Jolyn, 4 may from bryan. smoke? hahas.

-bodyshop gift set from meimei.-(clockwise) necklace from michlord, bangle from michelle, bracelet from shirnie and 'A' necklace from flurry. (:-big bouquet of flowers from colin as bonus.-wallet also from colin, the main present.

- tube top and loop earrings from sharon. (:

2008-05-04T11:42:00.000+08:00

-customized photo album from andy. (:
- rochers from barry. (:
- cards from shirnie and sharon. (:

i had a great birthday celebration. i do feel pampered. thanks everyone. :D

2008-05-02T23:02:00.001+08:00

2008-05-02T22:54:00.003+08:00

YAY!!!! I'M A HAPPY GIRL!!! :D I'VE GOT A NEW PHONE!!! SONG ERICSSON W890i. *WEETS*

AND I'M GOING OUT TO DOUBLE O TONIGHT!! WITH MY BFF!! AND SOME OTHERS, DUNNO WHO YET. HAHAS.

I'M CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!! CAN'T WAIT!! WOOOTIES!! I HEARD SURPRISES!!! MAKES MY HEART PUMP FAST YO!!! :)

MUMMY GAVE ME A BOUQUET OF ROSES AND DADDY BROUGHT ME OUT TO EAT. THOUGH IT'S A RUSHED THROUGH DINNER, I STILL APPRECIATE HIM TAKING TIME OUT FOR ME FROM HIS HECTIC WORK SCHEDUELE.

I SEE ZIPPO LIGHTER, SUNFLOWER AND MAYBE BACK TO OLD SCHOOL CD APPROACHING ME~

I'M ON ECSTACY!!! BYE~

2008-05-01T21:44:00.002+08:00

2008-05-01T21:27:00.002+08:00

3 days to my birthday; 4th may. (:

been some time, so i'm here to update now. i'm currently holding a temporary job at shenton way. working hours are short; 11am-4.30pm. five days work week, and nothing to do in office. pay's low, but it's ok 'cause i'm getting back on track.

plans to celebrate my birthday is still wavering. afterall, there's no buffet at my place anymore. gonggong passed away not over 100 days, so i gotta celebrate out with no cake. but who cares, it's the company that counts yea?! 3rd may, celebrate my birthday!!! (:

i actually found out some of the presents that my friends got for me. they're just so sweet la!!! hees. they kept dropping hints on me, and tadah!! i'm a smart girl!! lols.

i've gotta thank some people, who's been there for me through this period. i may be grouchy and nasty, but they still stayed with me. i'm grateful for the efforts, i can see it. (:

i'm kinda upset that things didn't work out well. but sometimes, it's just about letting go. it's not gonna be easy as ABC, but slowly. i hope for the best for both, all'll be fine. and no, i'm not falling back to square one. (:

i'm thankful that i'm being brought out into the light, though i'm all alone now. i appreciate everything that's been done; memories. let's just keep them within, and reminisce. i'm sorry that i'd been such a bitch, please forgive me.

lastly, BFF is LOVE!! i enjoy hanging with her all the time!! :D

2008-04-24T18:49:00.000+08:00

2008-04-24T18:44:00.001+08:00

_Feelings Show by Colbie Caillat_

You told me
You'd wait here patiently but
I wonder if he's kidding
Well maybe he could be serious now
Maybe not
Maybe not
Because'
Love is crazy
Pretty baby
Take it real slow
My feelings show
All you have to do
Is never ever let it go
My feelings show
And I want you to know

I'm sorry it's taking me so long
To find out what I'm feeling
I wonder if it will come to me
Maybe not
Maybe not
Because'

Love is crazy
Pretty baby
Take it real slow
My feelings show
All you have to
Is never ever let it go
My feelings show
And I want you to know
My feelings show

I want you to know

What I'm trying to say is that
I'm feeling a change and
I'll let it take all over
If you need time away
I won't ask you to stay
But I don't want to lose you

Love is crazy
Pretty baby
Take it real slow
My feelings show
All you have to do
Is never ever let it go
My feelings show

Love is crazy
Pretty baby
Take it real slow
My feelings show
All you have to do
Is never ever let it go
My feelings show
And I want you to know
My feelings show

Never ever let it go
My feelings show
Never ever let it go
My feelings show
Never ever let it go
My feelings show

2008-04-23T01:51:00.004+08:00

I LOVE HIM. I MISS HIM. I NEED HIM. I WANT HIM. ALWAYS.

2008-04-16T17:20:00.002+08:00

- I'm determined to be a happy girl again. :D

2008-04-16T17:10:00.002+08:00

everything seems to quiet down already. i guess everyone's being sick and tired of everything, of me. no one seems to bother anymore, except for those really nice ones.

i've already sent out invites for my birthday, hope everything would go well. though it's just about 2 weeks away, i ain't feeling excited or anything about it. it'll prolly be just another day.

i yearn for things to be like how it just started. i'm actually feeling a bit unloved, I'M SORRY. i don't wish to force anybody to do anything or push limits anymore.

i need to tone down, to hide away. and no, this is no emo post. i'm not emo, i'm relieve now. (:

2008-04-14T16:11:00.001+08:00

no one understand. all the hurt, all the pain. the tears that flow, nobody pays attention. i'm invisible, i'm making my way out of the scene. i need what i deserve. i'm going away, try holding me back if you can.

2008-04-14T02:14:00.001+08:00

- a hug is badly needed for, a real tight one.

2008-04-14T01:35:00.002+08:00

now is one of those times that i feel like blogging, so totally. 'cause this is the only place that i could ever turn to.

i'm sorry baby. i know that after reading this entry, you'd prolly text me or something and ask what's wrong. there's nothing wrong, just cranky again. and you're sleeping already, there's work tomorrow. no reason for me to disrupt you, furthermore you've been lacking of rest.

i really feel fat. spell F.A.T, FAT!!! i need to work out, but i'm just so lazy. fuck all the excuses shit!! i'm seriously going to cut down on my intake. diet!!! i've never felt so fat before!!! i'm losing myself!!

and i get pissed very easily nowadays. i don't know what's wrong. i'm like sorta running away all the time. it sucks!!! why am i like this?! how i wish i could just vanish from this place. there's not really anything to reminisce about. =/

hate the insomnia!! i can't sleep!! it happens nearly every night!! i'm so upset that i could cry now, really. ): i'm feel so stressed up!! i don't know what to do, i'm lost!!! i don't wanna be in this picture anymore!

that's how i feel about life. it feels as if i'm the only 'real' person in this space, all the others are just imaginary beings. we're like characters of a story. there's a writer, prolly he's God. we're what he made out, and being control of.

the angels are looking, we're acting. it's really tiring. i don't wanna go on anymore. let things end here. shoot me, hang me, whatever. just get me out. ):

damn it. i don't know what to blog about. it's the emotions again. i've gotta go to office tomorrow, to send my door card back. i've yet to blog about my sentosa trip yesterday too. but somehow i just can't make things fall in place now.

i should just quit whining and mind my own business.

2008-04-11T04:21:00.002+08:00

- the guy(:

2008-04-11T04:08:00.002+08:00

couldn't get to sleep, so i watched step up 2 (it's been downloaded for a long long time already) and got some photos edited. :D uploaded some of them on ma friendster too. been some time yo~

there're still plenty of clips for me to go through, but i'm simply lazy. and spent most of the time sleeping or chatting. goodness me!~ *smack forehead*

i wanna go to the library!! need to read!!! my language is failing me, like seriously. ): shall head out to get books soon. (:

thinking of pampering myself for a bit. ages since i had the nails session, thinking and planning if i could do it tomorrow. and perhaps throwing in a high tea would be good too. *flies to cloud nine*

to the sentosa island on saturday if everything goes well. with aiai and flurry sweetheart. been 2 weeks (if bryan's right) since i've a tan. just a little bit more to go alrights? then i'll be fine with the tone. ;)

what comes next is, the fats must go!! i've gotta be determined and perserve, tone down!! self confidence's running low, and seemed to have outgrown quite some clothes. it's a bad bad thing!!! 5 kgs to go first then more? heees.

and it's like less than a month to my birthday. i'm so upset, i've got nothing in mind. ): guess i'll just have a simple dinner just like any other day with some friends and family then sleep the day off.

sighs. i don't wish to talk about friendship at the moment. it'd just been too hard to bear.

good night everyone. i'm gonna try to turn in already. have a great day ahead, and a blasted weekend! :D

2008-04-09T20:13:00.000+08:00

2008-04-09T20:06:00.002+08:00

keel the flu bug!!! argh~~

not working today again. BOOS! can't seem to motivate myself these days. bah! i dont know what's wrong with me. i'm going to make an appointment with the institute of metal health and check it out. i'm scared though.

but no choice, i've got to get myself treated. then those around me, would have a much better life. cos i'm always $^&%^(&()(^%^#. especially these few days, and i dont think baby can take it any longer. =/

it's wednesday night again!! YAY!! that spells H I A O - D A Y!!! hees. gonna go to zouk mambo!! lalas~

last but not least,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST MIKE-Y!! :D

miss you! *hugs*

hope you enjoy your day!! ;)

___ [[ I am who I am and I love it. ]] ___

_ [[ I am who I am and I love it. ]] _